When we first became parents I have never seen my husband like that before. He was on cloud nine, and immediately switched into super husband and dad mode. But as most highs go, it was immediately followed by the exhaustion of the first couple months of Caroline's life. Please don't misunderstand...he still was super husband but reality began to sit in. Like I say time and time again, this gig is awesome but hard as all get out!
It was in those months that I would get frustrated with him and became a very negative person because of my exhaustion. I really, in my confused mind, didn't think he cared nor wanted to participate in this parenting thing. You see it seemed like every time I handed him Caroline, he would just sit with her. He wouldn't multi-task like me. If Caroline was in his arms...that's all he did. It made me so mad! (I imagine at this point Chris is sitting at his desk shaking his head in agreement :))
But I realized something last night (incredibly late in the process let me admit) about my husbands relationship with Caroline. I had the privilege of attending a memorial service of sweet friend of mines husband, who suddenly passed away last week. He left her and three children behind, the youngest a 3 year old little girl. As the service was taking place, my thoughts kept drifting towards my sweet husband who was at home with our little girl. And this is what I realized. The way he interacts with her is affecting some of the core beliefs she will have as a girl, adolescent, teenager, young woman, a wife and adult.
You see he is teaching her how she should be treated. He gives her his undivided attention. When she is in his arms, there is no one else in the world. He treats her like a princess.
He tells her things that really matter. Of course he tells her she is beautiful, but he also tells her she is smart, funny and sweet all the time.
He is showing her protection in it's purest form. He would die for her. He would stand against anyone or anything to keep her safe.
He is showing her what kind of man to look for. One that treats her with respect, and adoration. One that values her above himself.
And most importantly he is helping her to have a beautiful relationship with her heavenly Father. The way that she views her earthly dad will translate into what she thinks about her Heavenly One. He is building and strengthening that relationship right now. I love that!
I have talked to so many first time moms and there is a lot of disappointment there in respect to how their spouses interact with their kids. I think it's because we don't really understand what their role is as a father. Chris is leaving a legacy with Caroline that goes far beyond him holding her on his hip while he does the dishes. Or WANTING to change a diaper verses me asking him too. And too be honest I would rather him do that then anything else. (Chris don't get any ideas...I still need your help :))
So to all you hard working moms out there, love on those dads so they will keep loving enthusiastically on our children. And then to the main dad in my life...
Chris, you are my best friend. You are the best dad I have ever seen. I love that you love Caroline the way you do. She is a better person for having you as a dad. Forgive me for my childish antics... Forgive me for not giving you room to be the dad you know how to be. I respect the fire out of you, and I can't wait to continue growing in this parent role with you. You balance me...and I will be forever grateful for that.
props to the dads out there,
Lindsey
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