Kids and Money

So have I told you that I have an awesome, wise and talented husband? Cause I do!

And today, among everyday, I am very proud of him. Today he has guest posted on a favorite blog of mine Parentzilla. One of our good friends started the site to teach parents how to handle their teenagers. Caroline has several years until we get there, but with the great amount of information you get from this site will make those years easier to digest. So if you don't know Parentzilla...get to know them!

But back to my husband...here he is the handsome man.

This week he started his blog about financial planning, advice and coaching. Chris Campbell's Blog is a great place to have some of your questions answered about budgeting, major financial decisions and overall to do's and not to do's. So go see it...and follow it. He is planning on guest posting for me monthly about teaching your children about money, and also about personal finance. As women we need to know what's going on in that area if we don't already.

But today I want you to read his post about 5 Ways To Help Your Teenager With Money.
It's  a great introduction to him and who he is...plus you get to visit Parentzilla! Really cool huh?

Let me know what you think...

Proud Wife,
Lindsey

The Elusive Night of Sleep

So... I have told you about this before.

Sleeping with Caroline has never been good. The minute I think we have "turned the corner" I am quickly reminded it was not a corner at all but more of a bend in the road.

I. am. tired.

I say this in the nicest way possible...if your child has always been a good sleeper, cheers! But mine has not. I have tried almost everything.

She has a routine.
She naps good.
She has cried it out and it does no good nor does it find her any consistency.
She goes to sleep awake.

She is 18 months old now and to be honest, I am thinking that she just might not be a good sleeper. This almost brings me to tears. When she does wake up in the middle of the night she sometimes is awake for 2 hrs or so (wide awake I might add.) Sometimes the easiest way for any of us to get any sleep at all is to do the things we shouldn't do...like rock her or give her a bottle.

Yes I cave...but trust me at 18 months you would too.

There are glimmers of hope I have. She is cutting her 2 year molars right now, so maybe just maybe, after we are done teething (just 2 more teeth left) she will sleep better. I also am going to try a slightly different bed time "thing". I will let you know if it works.

So, this is mostly just to vent. Right now I am letting C cry herself to sleep because she is just down right cranky...and I know my day will stink if she doesn't get some sleep. But, if you are reading this and you think you might have some advice (that doesn't make me feel like a terrible mother) share with me. I beg you, share with me.

Hoping for some rest,
Lindsey

I get to what?

Good morning...and I do mean good! All to often, I wake up feeling differently. Feeling as though my days are not really good, not really bad. Just working to get through another one. Another season. Another stage. (honesty)

But today it so happens, Caroline woke up early and was ready to nap by 8am this morning. So I laid her down and picked up my favorite book and Bible. These words I read:

"The sun climbs the horizon. I throw back the covers, take another breath and begin. I get to. I get to Live." (Ann Voscamp, One Thousand Gifts)

My mind flashes to fifteen minutes prior where my little girl climbed up into my lap, laid the palm of her hand on my face and giggled. A giggle which erupted out of nowhere. Out of thin air. Out of the breath the Lord gave her.

I get to Live.
I get to. She gets to. You get to.

It's as profound as it is simple. We make these days harder on ourselves than they are. (And believe me...these days are hard.) But we are here. We get to Live. We get to breathe. The world might feel like it's falling in around us...but we are here. Here to love on the ones closest to us. To giggle for no reason. To cry when something hurts. To speak up for those who can't speak up. We get to pray. We get to see God in our children. We get to walk out in the sunshine on beautiful spring days. We get to lay down and sleep at night...and wake up to a new day.

I know what it feels like to walk each day out, just trying to pass through. Ann Voscamp calls it the "walking dead". I do it so very often. But to really live, to really embrace each day for the gifts it holds is where I want to be. What I want to do. Even if those gifts come with challenges and pain. I just want to feel...to feel each and everything that comes our way is to Live.

Where I began journaling these wanderings in my journal this morning, was this verse: (I love how God does this)

Psalm 136:2-3, 26
Give thanks to the God of gods. Give thanks to the Lord of lords. Give thanks to the God of heaven, for his steadfast love endures forever.

That's it right...a place to start living. Give thanks to God. Give thanks for this day and every day you have. Live them. Fully Live them. Be thankful for them.

I am not preaching to you, but with you. I don't want to waste another day just existing. I want to be fully here for C, for my husband, for my God and for you. Life may be challenging, difficult, hard at times...but each morning I wake with a new day (a new opportunity) to live. I have a choice.

And today...I am Going to Live life today...

(I hope you do too)

Lindsey

Birthday Post-31 Reasons

So tomorrow I turn 31. Yep. 31...

It's funny, this is the first year I feel "older". There is just something about saying  I am 31 that sounds older.  I don't know...just does.

Anyways. In honor of 31 years of life,  thought I would list 31 reasons I love my life. So here it goes:

1) I am still here. Looking back on some troublesome years (18-24), part of me thinks I defied some odds because there are multiple times I could say "I should have died doing that!" or "That really was not smart!" Either way, the Lord saw it fit to keep me here and I am so glad he did. I am thankful for each day I get.
2) My Husband. If  you want to know why I love him so much, go here . It's just a snippet of the man I get to spend my life with.
3) My amazing daughter Caroline. If you don't already know why I love her so much...just read some of the posts on this blog.
4) I have an amazing family. All though we are far from perfect.. I love my mom, dad and sister. They are loving, caring and supportive. Not to mention each of them picked some fantastic additions to my family: my step-mom Karen, step-dad Gary and future BIL David.
5) My nieces... Maddie and Hadley. I love them so.
6) My extended family. I have awesome Grand Parents In Law that I love and that love the Lord. I have an amazing MIL that is one of the most thoughtful ladies ever. Awesome aunts and uncles I adore. A SIL that I love spending time with...all of them are wonderful and I am so thankful for.
7) My health. I have been relatively healthy my whole life and I don't take it for granted. I am still in good shape and plan to stay that way until I really am old and gray! God willing!
8) I get to stay home with my little girl each day. I don't have to miss a second of her growing up...and I am so thankful for that.
9) I love my home. It is little, sweet and homey. It has a roof and a warm bed for me to sleep in at night. It's perfect for us.
10) I have the greatest dog Zeus who has been a companion of mine for 10 years. He is still going strong, protects our home and he loves my little girl.
11) I love my friends. God has blessed me with some amazing girl friends to walk this life with. Although they have come along later in my life, I am a better person because of them. They have shown me what true friendship looks like and I look forward to growing old with each of them.
12) Church. I just love the place.
13) I love my story. It's ugly, messy, embarrassing and beautiful. It shows that there really is a God who really does extend grace and really does work miracles. If you knew me B.C. (Before Christ) you know this is true.
14) I get to live in America. This might sound cheesy and or stuck up, but since none of us got to choose where we were born...I am glad I was born here in the land of the free. I get to believe what I want, say what I want (for the most part) and write what I want. It's a good place to live.
15) I love being able to travel each year with my husband.
16) We have a job that provides for our family. I am so thankful for Dave Ramsey for taking care of his employees and that he hired my husband.
17) We have cars to take us places. It would be miserable to have to walk with a baby everywhere..right?
18) I love that I have time to do things I love to do....like read. I love to read.
19) I love that I have a group of moms to share this mom experience with each week. They really have become such a part of my life and helped me in this transition season.
20) I love living where I do...it finally feels like home.
21) I love being able to mentor a college girl who reminds me so much of myself. It's a way for me to help her make different choices than I made.
22) I love that I don't stop changing. My life never stops changing and I hope I never stop either. 30 years from now I want to be way wiser, more compassionate and a fierce lover of people.
23) I love my sister. I know I said it earlier...but she deserves her own spot. I love her so.
24) I love the Bible and the fact I get to read it everyday. It's a privilege.
25) I love being creative and crafty. I love being able to plan events or sew pretty little things for friends. I love that God made me this way.
26) I love that my husband gives me "off mommy-duty" time to just go and be me.
27) I love the beach and getting to go with our best buddies every year. It is something that I look forward to.
28) I love that God freed me from worrying about what everyone else thinks of me.
29) I love being a mom. It's the best job God could have chosen for me.
30) I love me. I can finally say it, I love the person I have become.
31) Jesus has made this life worth living. He above all else is the main reason I love my life...because He loves me.

Whew that was hard...but it was a good exercise in gratefulness. You see, it's in the remembering that I become grateful for where I have been and begin looking forward to where I am going. So here's to the next 31 years, or however many years the Lord allows.

31,
Lindsey

Truth

I write this as I am finishing drying tears from my face.

Do you ever read things that just ring truer than true in your heart. Where it almost startles you as emotion begins to heave the sighs of truth from the center of your heart. That drum starts beating and you can feel the heat rise behind your cheeks...it's there. The Truth.

I share with you what it was that sent tears streaking down my cheeks a few sentences is.

Read it. Hear it. See the Truth.
Let it change you.

The Importance of Being the Prodigal Parent

I don’t know who said you couldn’t, but they were dead wrong.
You could be death wish over a toilet, a flagrant sinner over a credit card, a Pharisee over a pulpit, and it doesn’t matter.
It doesn’t matter a hill of beans.
And it’s a hill I’d die on, because that’s exactly why a Carpenter really did:
Whoever you are, wherever you’ve been, whatever you’ve done and whatever story you own — you can always come home again.
Read the rest of it here...

A Prodigal Parent,
Lindsey

A New Way to Pray

I have written a couple blogs before on praying for your child, or prayers I have prayed for C. But to be honest I have not fully mastered exactly how to pray for my sweet one.

What's even worse I have failed so often to daily pray for her and my husband out of my own self-pity stage. I have rambled on and on about me, my needs, my problems...but stop there. My sweet Father has gently been reminding me that I NEED to be praying for them (husband and daughter) I NEED to be interceding (BIG Christian word) for them.

As I read my Bible I see Paul and the other Apostles say things like "I have not stopped giving THANKS for you, remembering you in my prayers." Ephesians 1:16
"We always thank God the Father when we pray for you." Colossians 1:3
"We CONSTANTLY pray for you" 2 Thessalonians 1:11

We love well when we pray for one another. I am never loving my family more than when I pray for them. But how often I fail at this.

It's because I bite off more than I can chew. I feel as though I have to get everything in every time I pray. I have to pray for our marriage and Caroline's future spouse. I need to pray for their walk with the Lord. I have to pray for work and work ethic. I have to pray for their mind and thought life. I have to pray for their relationships. I have to pray for their faith.

So much to pray for. So much.

So I have decided that I am going to pray a new way. I will pray for all these things but break them down over the course of the week. Each day I will pray for a specific thing listed above. I will start with thankfulness as that seemed to be a running theme Paul kept bringing up. Just to praise the Lord for putting these 2 extraordinary people in my lives. To praise them for their uniqueness. Praise Him for allowing me to be in their lives.

Then from there, Monday through Saturday, I will pray for a different facet of their lives. Just a little bit each day. Less of me...more of them. More of Him.

I journal my prayers...it helps me to stay focused. I can look back and see where prayers have been answered where tears have stained the sheets of paper. I love having these treasures. One day when I am gone my sweet daughter will have them to remember me by. She will know my heart for her and the cries of my heart for her life. I hope she will treasure them too.

embarking on a new journey,
Lindsey

Controlling

Well...let's be honest, the word has a negative connotation to it. I mean who in their right mind wants to be known as a controlling person? I sure don't. But last night I came face to face with the fact that, I indeed, am as controlling as they come.

I don't know if I was in denial, or maybe just unaware of this characteristic. But, after my sweet husband uttered these fateful words, a thud of truth landed loudly in the deepest parts of my heart. I my sweet friends am what he says.

As I laid in bed last night (still stewing over his words I should add) I talked with the Lord about this matter. I mean is controlling really a bad thing? No one thinks negatively about being "passionate", it's a word people use often to praise themselves. But isn't controlling and passionate on an even playing field?

So let's just say I am passionate about having a clean house, and how to load the dishwasher because it makes unloading it so much easier and how Caroline gets ready for bed, and what she eats and doesn't eat. I am passionate about doing everything possible to keep her asleep in the mornings so we both can get a few extra zzz's. So, if that means my husband is making too much noise in the mornings, a little "sshhh" from me is warranted...right?

I hope you are laughing at me because I am laughing at myself. You might also be thinking "Your poor husband" and you would be correct in thinking so. You see it's all a little quite ridiculous. I got the sense that God was thinking the same thing when we were going over this list last night before bed.

I think the first step in getting out of the hole is recognizing your in one. So for that matter I am so thankful for the self-awareness. I DO NOT want to be controlling. But let me ask you this (I wish you could hear the sincerity of my heart) if I don't want to be controlling how do I stop?

 I do like the dishes put in the dishwasher a certain way because it's easier for me to unload them. I am the one who mostly loads and unloads them. So is asking someone to do something for you that makes your life easier a bad thing? This is where my sense fails me..because deep in my heart I welcome the help...I really do. I appreciate the times my husband does the dishes, cleans up or helps out with C. But why do I get so hung up on the things that he does or doesn't do that are different then the way I do them?

There is only one answer...stupidity. I should be grateful for his help. PERIOD! I shouldn't harp or nag because that reminds me of a proverb that I would love to have never read.
 ^" Better to live alone in a tumbledown shack than share a mansion with a nagging spouse." Proverbs 21:9 (the message)

Oh God, please help me to stop the nagging...to stop the controlling! It's not worth it....
And He so gently says to me....
"He (God) has showed you, O (wo)man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you but to do justly, and to love kindness and mercy, and to humble yourself and walk humbly with your God… – Micah 6:8 (amp)

Yes Lord...I hear you. Kindness, mercy, humility...got it.
So all that to say, I am a work in progress.

Honey...if you read this, I love you and I am sorry. Please forgive me and trust that I am working on me. I am so thankful for all the help you give to me here at home.( And you do help.) You are one amazing man and I am so thankful to have married you!

Sigh~
Lindsey

100th POST!

Well today is my 100th post! I just can't believe it...100 times I have shared my life with you. 100 times I have poured my innermost thoughts out not knowing how they would be received. 100 times I let you in hoping that there was someone out there who could benefit from my experiences.

So today I want to share a milestones with you and some of my favorite posts! I hope you enjoy :)

First of all... I have been accepted as a blogger on TopMommyBlogs.com  you can go there and vote for my blog (Exhausted Mom) so we can hit #1 faster than any other new blog! You can look for me under the header of "Newest Blogs" or "Stay at Homes". (There are also some other great blogs on there to learn from too.)

Second of all... here are my top 3 favorite blog post I have written.
1) A birth Story.
2) Daddy Daze
3) Speaking Encouraging Words

These to me are the funniest and sweetest.
1) I love Blueberries!
2) A Royal Wedding
3) There's a First For Everything


Anyways...here's to the first 100 and to 100 more!

Excited,

Lindsey

Fear Based Parenting

First let me say... I am so thankful for the small group of women that pour into my life and help me up out of the pit when I am so desperately making my bed in the mud and mire. I am beyond grateful for their wisdom, help and sincerity. This is not about them but about me, and my journey in motherhood.

I realized something huge (HUGE) today that I need to share. I, my dear friends, have been parenting ( or lack there of) out of fear. I have been so scared of the little person C is becoming that I truly have been scared into doing nothing. I don't know how to parent a strong willed child, so I have let her rule this house. I have let her climb, throw, hit (don't judge) and even bite me sometimes with out any recant from me. I just didn't know what to do...and when I don't know what to do in life I revert into the coward I can be.

But, and I do mean but, not anymore (God willing). Today I choose to stop parenting out of fear and choose to parent out of faith. I choose to love her enough to tell her no, to get up and go to her and not shout from the other side of the room. I choose to put her in time out and do it again and again until she gets it. I choose to be active in this role and not passive. I choose to love her by disciplining her out of that love and not out of the sheer frustration I feel so much of the time. I choose to be the parent.

This might seem like a "well duh" moment for you, but not for me. I truly am not sure what to do at times, this being my first go-round.  I want my daughter to grow up with confidence in our love for her and thus use her strong will for good and not bad. I want her to grow up with confidence in herself and how God made her and thus use that confidence to help others and not just herself. I want her to grow up believing in the leader God has made her to be ( I know she will be) to make wise choices instead of ones that will lead her down a destructive path. I want more for her. I simply want her to love God, us and others well.

I can only teach her these things by doing them first. So by faith I trust that God is working out of me the "people pleaser" that I am and the hope that you will all think my daughter is the cutest, sweetest thing ever. Because you won't. I give up worrying that you might think I am a bad parent because I choose to spank or not to spank. I don't care what you think. I am doing what I think is best for us. I choose to not pay attention to the looks you give me when my daughter (who is a full blown independent toddler) bucks me and throws a fit in front of you. She will do it and I will do my best to handle it respectively.

For all the moms out there who are trying to find your way, like me, choose to engage your child and raise them not out of fear but out of confidence in your role. Out of all the parents God could have chosen for my sweet little girl, he choose me. He obviously thinks I have what it takes to be the best parent for her. He. HE. HE! No one else but Him, really matters. So if He thought it good...then it's good I am Caroline's mom. I choose to move from fear based parenting to faith in HIM parenting.

This is for me today,
Lindsey

Day in and Day out

So we have been at this stay at home mom thing now for almost 18 months! Whew just can't believe it.

What a journey so far. I mean I can't believe that it has been that long, for sometimes it feels as though just yesterday we were coming home from the hospital with our little one. And yet it feels like I have been doing this forever. This mom thing.

Day in and day out our lives feel so routine. Like she has always been here and I have never done anything different. But this past weekend  I had a weekend get-away with my mom to visit my sister in Knoxville. A whole 2 days away from the hubby and daughter had me reflecting on my day to day scene.

People I don't get to see often ask "So how's life? What's new with you?" It's an embarrassing reply when I say "To be honest, not much. I mean really nothing new is really going on. I am at home, Caroline's good and Chris loves his job. I mean yeah, we are contemplating moving to a new house. We have switched churches and God is good. But not a whole lot new."

I don't think I could be further from the truth...but who wants to hear "Well, Caroline is constantly changing. Her moods, her likes and dislikes. She learns new things everyday...want to hear about  the new things she can say or what she understands now? With the whether changing we love to be outside. We love to go shopping together. Oh and she loves the wagon her Sudie (my mother in law) got her for Christmas. No day is ever the same with us. Some days are good, some days are not so good. But no day is like the one before."

As a mom I am realizing that my days are full! From sun rise to sun down...we are going going going. She doesn't stop (except for right now...she is napping). I am still writing, we are still learning each other. WE are really good. Life is really good. I might not have a ton to report on...but what I do is really important to us.

She is really important to me.

Oh...and by the way... the giving up facebook thing is going well. Haven't been on there in 5 days. Today I feel like I have no clue what's going on in the world...but I do feel like I have had more time to right here, spend time with C and to spend time with Him. So still plugging away.

Blessed,
Lindsey

Back and Better

So, I am sure that most of you haven't even noticed...but I took a little break from blogging. I was going to pursue a side business and spent the better part of last year working on that. I also think it was good for me to break for a little bit. Gave me time to think about this...this blogging thing.

I love to write. I love to write this blog. It, most of the time, has been somewhat therapeutic for me. The early days after Caroline was first born I just needed somewhere to vent. Even if nobody was reading, it just helped me to not feel so alone. So I wrote...and wrote. I really have no idea if anybody else got anything out of it, but it was good for me.

So now... Caroline is 18 months old. Man how time has flown and man how things have changed! I have realized that I just probably will always be exhausted. Caroline demands alot of everything that I have. She is a spitfire and keeps me on my toes chasing her all over the place. Needless to say life hasn't slowed down but somehow sped up.

It's better though. I have finally learned to relax and enjoy. I feel like that first year I was just trying to keep my head above water that I missed just the simplicity of it all. The quiet nights I would just hold her, feeding her, rocking her to sleep. It went by so fast but when your in it...it feels so slow. So now I try to remind myself that this season of running around chasing her, teaching her how to talk, teaching her what can hurt her, what she can do and can't do... the telling her no all the time, will pass... and quickly. It is a blink of the eye...isn't it?

People tell you those stupid cliche's and we just shrug them off as new moms...but it's true.

So, I am back to blogging. I am better. Stronger. More confident in this role as mom.

HA! Maybe I just like to think I am!

For now,
Lindsey

An Exhausted Mother's Prayer

After a couple days of little sleep because of a baby with a cold...here I am. Can you relate?

To hope in You is all I have. Lord I am tired, short tempered and exhausted. Lord, I love being a mom but some days it feels so heavy, like I am never going to make it through. Then there is You and this Holy Experience called life. This job, as a mother, needs to be drilling out of me the all revealing selfishness I see so often. So much it's sickening. To be a mom, to be a follower of You, is to lay down my life moment after moment. To follow You, to feed Your sheep. That means Caroline.
Am I exhausted...yes. But, I can pull from Your strength. You promise in Isaiah 40 that You are everlasting. You will never grow tired or weary. And You tell me that if I simply HOPE in You- I will be strong again. You will give strength to the weak and rest to the weary. You will make me mount up on eagle's wings.
So Lord by faith, I hope in You. I hope you will refuel me. I hope you will strengthen me to be a better mom for Caroline. I hope you will calm me. You promise these things if I simply hope in You. So today I do just that... and I will rest in Your arms.

Losing the Baby Weight

OK...so we are a year post-baby and unfortunately my body still reflects much of my pre-baby weight. I am not really sure if it will ever look the same again, but I think its about time I try. When Caroline was about 6 months old, I started going to a gym here in town and was doing pretty good about working out regularly. Unfortunately, the child care did not live up to par when I walked into the room and a strange woman who was not a childcare worker was holding C. I guess you can only imagine how I reacted, never to return to that gym again.

So in the ever quest to lose this baby fat, I have heard a lot of women talk about how great the Jillian Michael's DVDs were...especially the 30 day shred. I decided it was worth a try.


I purchased mine off Amazon (click the picture to take you there) for real cheap. After looking at the video, I like it's format. If you are like me, you never really know how long baby will nap for. In the case of this video, there are 3 workouts all 20 minutes each. 20 minutes... anyone can do 20 minutes right? I am not going to lie... after the first workout my arms feel a little like Jello :) but I did it.

So you are asking what's the point. Well the point is I need accountability. So I am sharing with you over the next 30 days what the results are. I will do Jillian every day in the month of November. I am going to gear my calorie intake somewhere between 1200 and 1500 calories a day. I will share my weekly meal plan with you and at the end of the 30 days let you know the results.

If there is anyone out there who would like to take this challenge with me...let me know. I am hoping for some good results as I am tired of this inner tube around my waist! HA!

Hopeful,
Lindsey

Daily Affirmations

I am not sure where this post will go, because I have so much on my heart. In the past couple weeks I have fallen deeper and deeper in love with the Jesus. Not for any other reason other than I desperately need Him. And time after time He has shown up...comforting me in ways I had not expected.

One way He has done that is through a daily devotional blog called "A Holy Experience".

 It is simply beautiful and it is causing me to remember to be thankful in ALL things. I need nothing more on this earth more than I need Him.

I don't know about you, but I can tend to be more negative than positive sometimes. I am choosing today to be positive.
I love being a mom.
I love being a wife.
I love my family.
I love my friends.
I believe God for BIG things.
I choose His way and His way is AWESOME!
I have plenty.
I am blessed beyond words.
Today is going to be a great day!
I am beautiful to the people that matter.
I have purpose.
I have a plan.
I am smart.
I can do anything I put my mind to do.
I am a good mom and I know what to do because God equipped me for this job.
I am patient.
I am kind.
I am lovable.
I am a daughter of the King and because of that I am an heir to righteousness.

What are yours today? Share them below.
I leave you with this little girl... I want to raise Caroline to do this!

Happy Monday (and Halloween)
Lindsey

Pinterest!

Totally obsessed doesn't even begin to describe my addiction to Pinterest...if you don't know what I am talking about, stop what you are doing and run now to Pinterest!

Anyways... you will find a great many things on there, but the thing I am most obsessed with is the recipes I have found! I am not joking... some of the best dinners I have made have come from Pinterest. Some of the newest blogs that I have begun following have come from Pinterest... I LOVE Pinterest!

Anyways...I just wanted to tell you. Short and Sweet so that you can spend the rest of your free time on PINTEREST!

Happy Pinning!

Lindsey

A Heavy Heart but Holy Experience

This morning I come with a heavy heart. I am lonely again. I know that God made me for relationship, I thrive on interaction with others, yet my daily interaction is with a one year old. Alone, in this house...day after day.
Sure we go out. We go to the mall playground. The playground at the end of our road. And of course, because we are girls...we go shopping. I have a weekly play date with other moms, but unfortunately it's not enough.
It's for this reason that I have entertained the idea of going back to work. So yesterday I pondered what it is that I could do to fill this longingness inside of me. But to no avail, I can find nothing I would love more to do than to be with my little girl. So I have a conundrum. How do I do this stay at home mom thing and not be lonely?

Thus a devotional I read this morning...if you have 3 minutes please read this amazing woman's words.

This woman wrote a book called A Thousand Gifts, which chronicles the daily gifts God gives us in the ordinary realm to show us His Unfailing Love. I don't know if you know that...but His love is UNFAILING!

I learned this morning that when we cry out to Him in our distress, He delivers us from it. It doesn't say when He is ready to deliver us He will. It just says He delivers us. The point is we have to constantly be in a place where when we are lonely, sad, hurting, frustrated or anything that seeks to devour us...we cry out to HIM. WE go to Him first and He in His UNFAILING LOVE delivers us. IMMEDIATELY! That's what His words do... they heal, they bind up our wounds, they give us courage and strength to hang on, they give us direction and insight...they give us HOPE!

Oh how I love Him. How I am reminded that He IS the only thing that satisfies. I can be lonely for a second until I realize that I always have Him with me. Do I need others, YES! He made me this way and I believe that the enemy would love nothing more than me to just sit around my house and mope. BUT, I will not. There is too much to do and many other woman like me... I just need to find them :)

Today I trust Him and His deliverance from this loneliness. I believe He will send me to others who are just like me. "Anything is possible for those who believe." Mark 9:23

Giving Thanks,
lindsey

Some Things I Have Learned from My 1 Year Old

This is a whole different season for Miss C. Things have immensely changed since she turned a year. And thus we have been so much more busy because of this fact. I am surely chasing her around the house or trying to keep her out of things. But as I laid in bed last night and reflected on this new stage, it occurred to me, there is a lot to be learned from my little girl. So here are some things I came up with...

1) A Smile Makes Someone's Day: I can be having a rough day, and she will look at me and smile. It's in that split second that things change one degree to the right. I often walk through life with some what of a sour puss face. I am not sure if I even mean too... which is even worse. I can be walking through Wal-Mart or a store and someone will glance my direction and smile. It immediately reminds me to smile. You never know when someone else needs that smile to change their mood or uplift their spirit. So Caroline reminds me daily to share a smile with others. It could mean the world to someone.

2) Dance like everyone's watching: Caroline LOVES to dance. Chris and I LOVE to watch her. I believe that dancing is a outward appearance of joy. When you feel good and happy, coupled with some music, dancing happens. Yet so often we hide these things to ourselves. When people come around, Caroline is real good about not being shy and just dancing anyways. I want to learn to do that. I want to share my joy and happiness with others, not shrink away from it.

3) Make a Mess and Enjoy every bite: Caroline loves to feed herself and now that we are introducing her to the spoon...the mess has grown. I promise you, that child can fling food farther than you can imagine. Somehow though she still manages to scarf down some too. She loves to eat, and try new things. She will let you know if she doesn't like something, but for the most part she tries it and enjoys the process. She also likes to share with you what she's eating...it's so cute when she takes a bite and then looks at you and extends her hand to feed you the next bite. Believing with all her heart that you will like it to.

 I want to make a mess in this life and enjoy it as I go along. I want to try something new and share my experience with others. I want to enjoy the things in life that we take for granted. A hot meal and a roof over my head. I also don't want to worry about cleaning everything up so my life looks perfect. I want people to see me going for it in life and maybe be inspired to do the same....mess or not.

4) Don't take life so seriously: If there is one thing a 1 year old will teach you it's this. Most of the things I spent time telling her no about were driving me more crazy then her. She wanted to open up cabinets and drawers because she can and because they are her height. So instead of fighting her on it, I have readjusted and given Caroline some drawers and cabinets of her own. Ones that have Tupperware in them, or towels that she can pull out. I can clean those things up after she is done, and she can have fun while she is doing it. It's a win win, because I don't have to worry about what she is going to find in them and she can feel like she is exploring new things. Life is about learning, and if I just walked around trying to help her avoid everything than we both end up frustrated in the end. Life doesn't have to be so black and white...sometimes the best color is a simple shad of grey.

5) It's OK to just cry sometimes. There isn't always a rhyme or reason to her crying spells but sometimes there is. Sometimes she has gotten hurt or a friend is leaving their playtime. Sometimes things that she wanted didn't end up proving to be the wisest choice. Either way, crying is the only way to deal with the pain, hurt or frustration. Often we have been taught in this life to suck it up and move on, when really whatever the hurt is, it deserves some attention. Sometimes it deserves a good cry. It doesn't have to be justified it just deserves some respect. So I am learning to just go ahead and cry... you will feel better once you get it out.

6) Hold onto your loved ones. Caroline likes to be held. I am not going to lie, there is something absolutely precious about her walking up to me, arms raised in the air, reaching for me to hold her. It use to frustrate me a little because I was either in the middle of something, or she was always wanting me to hold her. But now, I am seeing it differently. One day this stage will pass and I won't turn the corner to see her, arms raised wanting me to pick her up. One day I won't be able to rock her to sleep. So for now...I am going to hold onto her. Squeeze her. Hug her. As often as she wants me too (if feasible) I am going to try and do it. This life is short and we have precious people in our lives. Why we don't show them or tell them more often is a shame. Start today...hold onto the loved ones in your life.

7) There is just something about our daddy. Watching C with her dad reminds me that I have a heavenly Father that feels that same way about me. There is just something about Him that I love. Actually alot of things about Him. Sometimes in this life, He is the only one that will do.

8) Kiss.... A Lot! C Loves to kiss. Each morning she will give me, her dad and our dog (which she calls Bubba) a kiss. And through out the day you can guarantee she will give many more out. There is nothing sweeter, or more precious than her kisses. But it also reminds me that I have a sweet husband that could use a few more kisses from me through out our day. It's a great way to show someone how much you love them...so kiss away and kiss alot!

9) Separation anxiety is a good thing: This one was a hard one for me to admit, but I thought about it and I realized that Caroline needs me. In her head I am the one who  soothes her, feeds her, clothes her, comforts her, adores her and is constantly there for her. When I am getting ready to leave her it freaks her out because if I am gone, who will take care of her?
I thought about it, and that's how I should be with the Lord. I should be so attached to Him that the very thought of not being around Him should shake me to my core. He is all those things above to me and even more... the reason I breathe everyday. If anyone should have separation anxiety about anyone, it should be me over Him. Expect for the fact, He never goes away. But sometimes I drift and finally realize that nothing can satisfy me in this life like He can. So for me, I will show Caroline, that no matter what I will be there for her. Even if I am gone for  a little while, I am always coming back...because I love her.

10) Enjoy every day: Sure this stage is tough. You can't really go out to eat, tantrums are a new experience, walking provides a whole new set of challenges, a clean house is something of the past, teething stinks and much much more. BUT, there are so many fun things too. Everyday is filled with newness and fun. Things that you think would get old, to her never do. Laughter is rampant in our house and everyday holds a new set of adventures. I will never get yesterday back and I can't worry about tomorrow. So the only other option I have is to enjoy every day as it comes. So that's what I will do. How about you?

So that's what I have learned from my sweet 1 year old. Hope you found something for you too.

Lindsey

All Grown Up

I would like to say this post is about C, but it's not. It's about me. If there is one thing that having a baby does for you it for sure would be, makes you grow up. No more of the selfish moments of doing whatever you want, whenever you want, without a thought or care about anything. This is absolutely, positively, not the case anymore. I am, for all intense purposes, growing up.

This year has been a year of ups and downs for our family as we grow into our new roles. It's like we are really figuring out who we are for the next phase of our lives. Chris has grown into the provider role as I quit work to stay home with our little one and I have grown into the mommy/house wife role. I would like to say these were easy transitions for us... but then I would be lying.

First of all going from two-incomes to one was quite a shock. All the frills of two incomes have, over the course of the year, moved out and some how we have acquired their in-laws stress and anxiety. It's not that we aren't "making it" we certainly are, but it's a lifestyle adjustment. And when you are people like us...that takes some getting use to. Because your wants don't always match up with your cans. Thankfully we are finally getting this concept and kicking out our unwelcome in-laws.

Chris now has taken on full financial responsibility of our home. I guess I was naive to the fact that this would be hard mentally on our person. But after many talks (and arguments) I am pulling off my blinders to see the BIG job he has in front of him. It honestly has taken me by surprise that I didn't see earlier how some of my comments could affect him. I have not helped as much as I should in encouraging him in this new role. He is sacrificing alot so that I can stay home with C, and I definitely could stand to appreciate that fact a little more.

And as for me in the mommy/housewife role...well let's just say it's a lot harder than it looks. I have spoken to so many new moms who struggle with the "Do I go back to work, or do I stay home?" question and I understand why so many of them do go back to work. Staying at home, day in and day out, is the toughest job I have ever had and you don't get paid for it. Staying home is emotionally, physically and mentally draining. There have been countless days where I have wondered to myself, "maybe I am just not cut out for this." And if taking care of the baby isn't enough add trying to keep your house clean and cook dinner. Oh and don't forget the fact you don't get a lunch break, bathroom break or get off work ever for that matter. So, it is the job that never ends.

BUT, it is the most rewarding job I ever had. I get to take care of my family. There aren't any bonuses or certificate of achievements, but I am showered often throughout the day with hugs and sweet kisses. I get to witness all of her firsts and seconds and thirds. I get to hold her when she is sick and laugh with her when she discovers something new. We have found new friends and learned that family is worth everything. I sometimes try new recipes and I have found a love for making baby things (bows, burp cloths, tutus, onesies, etc.) I also like Chris coming home to a hot meal waiting for him and all of us getting to eat together at night. There are so many reasons why, daily, I choose this job.

There are still times I think it would be nice to go to work for a break during the week, and who knows if one day I will. But I am finally growing up and into my current job role. It's not the easiest but I love it. So my advice to any new mom out there, whatever you decide to do (stay home or work) do something you love. Respect your husband and honor the job God has called him to do. Work together, help each other out and encourage one another...it will make your marriage stronger. And finally just take one day at a time. You will get it.

All grown up,
Lindsey

Discipline

I am not sure that I anticipated this stage this early. To be honest I don't think I was completely ready for it. C turns one tomorrow, but she is already acting like she is two. This is proving to be way more difficult than I anticipated.

Last night I had some girlfriends over the house. This has happened several times over the past year where they come over, they love on C and we watch our favorite show. But now they come over, love on C and then watch me over and over try to direct my child away from the fire place, the movie cases, the picture frames, biting me and Lord forbid anyof the girls food or drink. It was the first time I felt embarassed as a mom as I watched their faces while I tried to discipline Caroline. I quickly fought back the tears and scooped up C and put her to bed.

I think it is easier to discipline a child who truly understands what you are trying to do. But here lately Caroline seems to be more excited to push the limits than adhere to them. I understand that she is suppose to do that, it's part of the deal. I just have had a hard time learning how to deal with this new child. I don't like having to tell her "No" so many times a day. I have chosen not to spank her because to be honest I don't think she understands it at this age and for me it just didn't feel right. (Plus with as much as she does something she shouldn't, I would be popping her all the time.) I also can't put her in time out...so what AM I suppose to do?

A good friend told me that I just need to be consistent with my method, try to redirect and praise her when she chooses to listen to me. So that's what I am doing. My method is to call her name and tell her "No Caroline, come back over here. Or, No Caroline get down from there." When that doesn't work I go and get her, get down on her level in my deep tone and tell her "I said No" and move her to a different place and redirect her attention. When she chooses to listen to me, I praise her. (Which happened once last night)

I am not going to lie...it's real hard. There are many times a day I almost break down because this process, I feel, is breaking me. I feel like the temper tantrums are many, and the sweet moments are few and far between. But I have hope, that eventually, this will pay off.

She has to learn and I have to learn. We are in a new stage. This will happen many more times over the course of her life even after she learns the word no. I just like to live in LaLa land a lot of the times and that Lala Land looks a lot like my time with Caroline at 5:45 this morning.

She woke up and was fussing in her crib. So I went to go in there to soothe her back to sleep. I don't really rock her anymore so I thought this might be a good opportunity to do so. So I scooped her up and off to rocking we went. She laid there still as a rail, looking at me with those beautiful eyes and holding my hand. It was quiet with just the sound of the rocker. It reminded me of this past year and all the moments I got to do that very thing, just hold her.

It was in that moment I knew that we could get through this. She loves me. I love her. She is just exploring her new world and I have to be there to teach her the good things for her and the unsafe things. She won't always like my boundaries for her and she won't always like me. But she will know I do it all because I love her. I just love her.

So today I choose to believe that we can do this. This year might be hard, but in the end we will both be better for it. Also, I found a good link for disciplining a one year old...if there is anybody else in the market for some good advice on this topic. :) http://life.familyeducation.com/baby/discipline/44249.html?page=2&detoured=1

Determined to be a better mom,
Lindsey

Man Am I Glad August is Almost Over... A Bad Month in Review Part 2

OK...so I got the worst part of August out yesterday...you can check it out here if you didn't get to read it. I suggest you do so before you read this one, so you can see what my frame of mind was before you hear what happened next.

I told you that Caroline fell on August 2nd. This was a Tuesday. Fast forward seven days to August 10th...A Wednesday.

I can't tell you how excited I was when I woke up that morning. I am a avid reader and HUGE fan of the book called The Help. I don't know if you have read it, or if you even like to read, but if you haven't or you don't...this book is worth your time. It definitely ranks up there in my top 5 favorite books of all time! Either way, they created a movie about this book and it came out on August 10th. I had fandango'd my ticket and was anxiously waiting to go see it that evening at 7:10pm with two of my best girlfriends. I was giddy with excitement! (total book nerd I realize)

Either way, husband came home and we ate dinner together. I needed to leave the house around 6:40 to meet the girls by 6:45. I quickly kissed my family goodbye and headed out the door. I have to let you know that I live, maybe, 2 miles from the movie theater (not exaggerating here either). It was within those two miles where I became another statistic. Most car crashes happen within a few miles from the home.

Yes, that's right...a week after Caroline's fall... a car crash. I rear ended an old tank of a Ford Explorer. I was paying attention, just couldn't see the stand still traffic that was on the other side of a hill in front of him. By the time I could hit my brakes, it was too late. Then the air bag went off.

I don't know if this has ever happened to you, but it's awful. Like getting punched in the face. The smell is terrible, and your car fills with the smoke from the release of it. Luckily I didn't get hurt, although you could see the outline of my face from the makeup on the bag.

Anyways... the guys I hit couldn't have been nicer, and the police officer I knew. The tank of the Ford Explorer had little to no damage, but my car on the other hand was not so lucky. Hood was busted to shreds and the radiator was completely busted. Chris was right when he said, as the tow truck carried my car away, "I bet insurance will total it out." And they did.

Again, I emotionally handled the whole thing until we were taking things out of my car and we pulled out the car seat. Flooded with the fear of the previous weeks events with Caroline, I was beyond thankful she was not with me in the accident. She probably wouldn't have been hurt, but never-the-less I am glad I was alone.  Another God thing if you ask me, as that she is always with me.

Anyways, we have spent the better part of August looking for cars and dealing with idiots trying to sell them. I don't recommend trying to buy a car off craigslist, as two weeks after the accident we thought we had found "the one" (a new car) and worked a deal with the guy, when he so graciously sold the car out from under us. Taking us ever so back to square one with a week left on the rental car. Gotta love that.

Between the emotional wreckage I started the month off with, to the emotional wreck I was after my wreck...plus the emotionally unstable person I was flamed many arguments between the husband and I. To say we were stressed and took it out on each other was an understatement. My poor husband put up with a lot this past month...sorry honey. I am sure that you are glad August is over too.

Sweet Caroline got over her fall, but decided it was time to teeth her four 1 year molers. If I thought teething was bad before, I was kidding myself. This has been a month from you know where plus some. We have spent alot of money (ER visits and new cars aren't cheap), lost alot of sleep (babies who are teething don't really like to sleep) and cried several rivers (or I have cried and Caroline has cried)...but we made it through.

Now on to September... It's time to celebrate (literally, Caroline's birthday is in 15 days!)

Thanks for listening to me whine...
Lindsey