Discipline

I am not sure that I anticipated this stage this early. To be honest I don't think I was completely ready for it. C turns one tomorrow, but she is already acting like she is two. This is proving to be way more difficult than I anticipated.

Last night I had some girlfriends over the house. This has happened several times over the past year where they come over, they love on C and we watch our favorite show. But now they come over, love on C and then watch me over and over try to direct my child away from the fire place, the movie cases, the picture frames, biting me and Lord forbid anyof the girls food or drink. It was the first time I felt embarassed as a mom as I watched their faces while I tried to discipline Caroline. I quickly fought back the tears and scooped up C and put her to bed.

I think it is easier to discipline a child who truly understands what you are trying to do. But here lately Caroline seems to be more excited to push the limits than adhere to them. I understand that she is suppose to do that, it's part of the deal. I just have had a hard time learning how to deal with this new child. I don't like having to tell her "No" so many times a day. I have chosen not to spank her because to be honest I don't think she understands it at this age and for me it just didn't feel right. (Plus with as much as she does something she shouldn't, I would be popping her all the time.) I also can't put her in time out...so what AM I suppose to do?

A good friend told me that I just need to be consistent with my method, try to redirect and praise her when she chooses to listen to me. So that's what I am doing. My method is to call her name and tell her "No Caroline, come back over here. Or, No Caroline get down from there." When that doesn't work I go and get her, get down on her level in my deep tone and tell her "I said No" and move her to a different place and redirect her attention. When she chooses to listen to me, I praise her. (Which happened once last night)

I am not going to lie...it's real hard. There are many times a day I almost break down because this process, I feel, is breaking me. I feel like the temper tantrums are many, and the sweet moments are few and far between. But I have hope, that eventually, this will pay off.

She has to learn and I have to learn. We are in a new stage. This will happen many more times over the course of her life even after she learns the word no. I just like to live in LaLa land a lot of the times and that Lala Land looks a lot like my time with Caroline at 5:45 this morning.

She woke up and was fussing in her crib. So I went to go in there to soothe her back to sleep. I don't really rock her anymore so I thought this might be a good opportunity to do so. So I scooped her up and off to rocking we went. She laid there still as a rail, looking at me with those beautiful eyes and holding my hand. It was quiet with just the sound of the rocker. It reminded me of this past year and all the moments I got to do that very thing, just hold her.

It was in that moment I knew that we could get through this. She loves me. I love her. She is just exploring her new world and I have to be there to teach her the good things for her and the unsafe things. She won't always like my boundaries for her and she won't always like me. But she will know I do it all because I love her. I just love her.

So today I choose to believe that we can do this. This year might be hard, but in the end we will both be better for it. Also, I found a good link for disciplining a one year old...if there is anybody else in the market for some good advice on this topic. :) http://life.familyeducation.com/baby/discipline/44249.html?page=2&detoured=1

Determined to be a better mom,
Lindsey