The Elusive Night of Sleep

So... I have told you about this before.

Sleeping with Caroline has never been good. The minute I think we have "turned the corner" I am quickly reminded it was not a corner at all but more of a bend in the road.

I. am. tired.

I say this in the nicest way possible...if your child has always been a good sleeper, cheers! But mine has not. I have tried almost everything.

She has a routine.
She naps good.
She has cried it out and it does no good nor does it find her any consistency.
She goes to sleep awake.

She is 18 months old now and to be honest, I am thinking that she just might not be a good sleeper. This almost brings me to tears. When she does wake up in the middle of the night she sometimes is awake for 2 hrs or so (wide awake I might add.) Sometimes the easiest way for any of us to get any sleep at all is to do the things we shouldn't do...like rock her or give her a bottle.

Yes I cave...but trust me at 18 months you would too.

There are glimmers of hope I have. She is cutting her 2 year molars right now, so maybe just maybe, after we are done teething (just 2 more teeth left) she will sleep better. I also am going to try a slightly different bed time "thing". I will let you know if it works.

So, this is mostly just to vent. Right now I am letting C cry herself to sleep because she is just down right cranky...and I know my day will stink if she doesn't get some sleep. But, if you are reading this and you think you might have some advice (that doesn't make me feel like a terrible mother) share with me. I beg you, share with me.

Hoping for some rest,
Lindsey

I get to what?

Good morning...and I do mean good! All to often, I wake up feeling differently. Feeling as though my days are not really good, not really bad. Just working to get through another one. Another season. Another stage. (honesty)

But today it so happens, Caroline woke up early and was ready to nap by 8am this morning. So I laid her down and picked up my favorite book and Bible. These words I read:

"The sun climbs the horizon. I throw back the covers, take another breath and begin. I get to. I get to Live." (Ann Voscamp, One Thousand Gifts)

My mind flashes to fifteen minutes prior where my little girl climbed up into my lap, laid the palm of her hand on my face and giggled. A giggle which erupted out of nowhere. Out of thin air. Out of the breath the Lord gave her.

I get to Live.
I get to. She gets to. You get to.

It's as profound as it is simple. We make these days harder on ourselves than they are. (And believe me...these days are hard.) But we are here. We get to Live. We get to breathe. The world might feel like it's falling in around us...but we are here. Here to love on the ones closest to us. To giggle for no reason. To cry when something hurts. To speak up for those who can't speak up. We get to pray. We get to see God in our children. We get to walk out in the sunshine on beautiful spring days. We get to lay down and sleep at night...and wake up to a new day.

I know what it feels like to walk each day out, just trying to pass through. Ann Voscamp calls it the "walking dead". I do it so very often. But to really live, to really embrace each day for the gifts it holds is where I want to be. What I want to do. Even if those gifts come with challenges and pain. I just want to feel...to feel each and everything that comes our way is to Live.

Where I began journaling these wanderings in my journal this morning, was this verse: (I love how God does this)

Psalm 136:2-3, 26
Give thanks to the God of gods. Give thanks to the Lord of lords. Give thanks to the God of heaven, for his steadfast love endures forever.

That's it right...a place to start living. Give thanks to God. Give thanks for this day and every day you have. Live them. Fully Live them. Be thankful for them.

I am not preaching to you, but with you. I don't want to waste another day just existing. I want to be fully here for C, for my husband, for my God and for you. Life may be challenging, difficult, hard at times...but each morning I wake with a new day (a new opportunity) to live. I have a choice.

And today...I am Going to Live life today...

(I hope you do too)

Lindsey

Truth

I write this as I am finishing drying tears from my face.

Do you ever read things that just ring truer than true in your heart. Where it almost startles you as emotion begins to heave the sighs of truth from the center of your heart. That drum starts beating and you can feel the heat rise behind your cheeks...it's there. The Truth.

I share with you what it was that sent tears streaking down my cheeks a few sentences is.

Read it. Hear it. See the Truth.
Let it change you.

The Importance of Being the Prodigal Parent

I don’t know who said you couldn’t, but they were dead wrong.
You could be death wish over a toilet, a flagrant sinner over a credit card, a Pharisee over a pulpit, and it doesn’t matter.
It doesn’t matter a hill of beans.
And it’s a hill I’d die on, because that’s exactly why a Carpenter really did:
Whoever you are, wherever you’ve been, whatever you’ve done and whatever story you own — you can always come home again.
Read the rest of it here...

A Prodigal Parent,
Lindsey

A New Way to Pray

I have written a couple blogs before on praying for your child, or prayers I have prayed for C. But to be honest I have not fully mastered exactly how to pray for my sweet one.

What's even worse I have failed so often to daily pray for her and my husband out of my own self-pity stage. I have rambled on and on about me, my needs, my problems...but stop there. My sweet Father has gently been reminding me that I NEED to be praying for them (husband and daughter) I NEED to be interceding (BIG Christian word) for them.

As I read my Bible I see Paul and the other Apostles say things like "I have not stopped giving THANKS for you, remembering you in my prayers." Ephesians 1:16
"We always thank God the Father when we pray for you." Colossians 1:3
"We CONSTANTLY pray for you" 2 Thessalonians 1:11

We love well when we pray for one another. I am never loving my family more than when I pray for them. But how often I fail at this.

It's because I bite off more than I can chew. I feel as though I have to get everything in every time I pray. I have to pray for our marriage and Caroline's future spouse. I need to pray for their walk with the Lord. I have to pray for work and work ethic. I have to pray for their mind and thought life. I have to pray for their relationships. I have to pray for their faith.

So much to pray for. So much.

So I have decided that I am going to pray a new way. I will pray for all these things but break them down over the course of the week. Each day I will pray for a specific thing listed above. I will start with thankfulness as that seemed to be a running theme Paul kept bringing up. Just to praise the Lord for putting these 2 extraordinary people in my lives. To praise them for their uniqueness. Praise Him for allowing me to be in their lives.

Then from there, Monday through Saturday, I will pray for a different facet of their lives. Just a little bit each day. Less of me...more of them. More of Him.

I journal my prayers...it helps me to stay focused. I can look back and see where prayers have been answered where tears have stained the sheets of paper. I love having these treasures. One day when I am gone my sweet daughter will have them to remember me by. She will know my heart for her and the cries of my heart for her life. I hope she will treasure them too.

embarking on a new journey,
Lindsey

100th POST!

Well today is my 100th post! I just can't believe it...100 times I have shared my life with you. 100 times I have poured my innermost thoughts out not knowing how they would be received. 100 times I let you in hoping that there was someone out there who could benefit from my experiences.

So today I want to share a milestones with you and some of my favorite posts! I hope you enjoy :)

First of all... I have been accepted as a blogger on TopMommyBlogs.com  you can go there and vote for my blog (Exhausted Mom) so we can hit #1 faster than any other new blog! You can look for me under the header of "Newest Blogs" or "Stay at Homes". (There are also some other great blogs on there to learn from too.)

Second of all... here are my top 3 favorite blog post I have written.
1) A birth Story.
2) Daddy Daze
3) Speaking Encouraging Words

These to me are the funniest and sweetest.
1) I love Blueberries!
2) A Royal Wedding
3) There's a First For Everything


Anyways...here's to the first 100 and to 100 more!

Excited,

Lindsey

Fear Based Parenting

First let me say... I am so thankful for the small group of women that pour into my life and help me up out of the pit when I am so desperately making my bed in the mud and mire. I am beyond grateful for their wisdom, help and sincerity. This is not about them but about me, and my journey in motherhood.

I realized something huge (HUGE) today that I need to share. I, my dear friends, have been parenting ( or lack there of) out of fear. I have been so scared of the little person C is becoming that I truly have been scared into doing nothing. I don't know how to parent a strong willed child, so I have let her rule this house. I have let her climb, throw, hit (don't judge) and even bite me sometimes with out any recant from me. I just didn't know what to do...and when I don't know what to do in life I revert into the coward I can be.

But, and I do mean but, not anymore (God willing). Today I choose to stop parenting out of fear and choose to parent out of faith. I choose to love her enough to tell her no, to get up and go to her and not shout from the other side of the room. I choose to put her in time out and do it again and again until she gets it. I choose to be active in this role and not passive. I choose to love her by disciplining her out of that love and not out of the sheer frustration I feel so much of the time. I choose to be the parent.

This might seem like a "well duh" moment for you, but not for me. I truly am not sure what to do at times, this being my first go-round.  I want my daughter to grow up with confidence in our love for her and thus use her strong will for good and not bad. I want her to grow up with confidence in herself and how God made her and thus use that confidence to help others and not just herself. I want her to grow up believing in the leader God has made her to be ( I know she will be) to make wise choices instead of ones that will lead her down a destructive path. I want more for her. I simply want her to love God, us and others well.

I can only teach her these things by doing them first. So by faith I trust that God is working out of me the "people pleaser" that I am and the hope that you will all think my daughter is the cutest, sweetest thing ever. Because you won't. I give up worrying that you might think I am a bad parent because I choose to spank or not to spank. I don't care what you think. I am doing what I think is best for us. I choose to not pay attention to the looks you give me when my daughter (who is a full blown independent toddler) bucks me and throws a fit in front of you. She will do it and I will do my best to handle it respectively.

For all the moms out there who are trying to find your way, like me, choose to engage your child and raise them not out of fear but out of confidence in your role. Out of all the parents God could have chosen for my sweet little girl, he choose me. He obviously thinks I have what it takes to be the best parent for her. He. HE. HE! No one else but Him, really matters. So if He thought it good...then it's good I am Caroline's mom. I choose to move from fear based parenting to faith in HIM parenting.

This is for me today,
Lindsey

Daily Affirmations

I am not sure where this post will go, because I have so much on my heart. In the past couple weeks I have fallen deeper and deeper in love with the Jesus. Not for any other reason other than I desperately need Him. And time after time He has shown up...comforting me in ways I had not expected.

One way He has done that is through a daily devotional blog called "A Holy Experience".

 It is simply beautiful and it is causing me to remember to be thankful in ALL things. I need nothing more on this earth more than I need Him.

I don't know about you, but I can tend to be more negative than positive sometimes. I am choosing today to be positive.
I love being a mom.
I love being a wife.
I love my family.
I love my friends.
I believe God for BIG things.
I choose His way and His way is AWESOME!
I have plenty.
I am blessed beyond words.
Today is going to be a great day!
I am beautiful to the people that matter.
I have purpose.
I have a plan.
I am smart.
I can do anything I put my mind to do.
I am a good mom and I know what to do because God equipped me for this job.
I am patient.
I am kind.
I am lovable.
I am a daughter of the King and because of that I am an heir to righteousness.

What are yours today? Share them below.
I leave you with this little girl... I want to raise Caroline to do this!

Happy Monday (and Halloween)
Lindsey

Discipline

I am not sure that I anticipated this stage this early. To be honest I don't think I was completely ready for it. C turns one tomorrow, but she is already acting like she is two. This is proving to be way more difficult than I anticipated.

Last night I had some girlfriends over the house. This has happened several times over the past year where they come over, they love on C and we watch our favorite show. But now they come over, love on C and then watch me over and over try to direct my child away from the fire place, the movie cases, the picture frames, biting me and Lord forbid anyof the girls food or drink. It was the first time I felt embarassed as a mom as I watched their faces while I tried to discipline Caroline. I quickly fought back the tears and scooped up C and put her to bed.

I think it is easier to discipline a child who truly understands what you are trying to do. But here lately Caroline seems to be more excited to push the limits than adhere to them. I understand that she is suppose to do that, it's part of the deal. I just have had a hard time learning how to deal with this new child. I don't like having to tell her "No" so many times a day. I have chosen not to spank her because to be honest I don't think she understands it at this age and for me it just didn't feel right. (Plus with as much as she does something she shouldn't, I would be popping her all the time.) I also can't put her in time out...so what AM I suppose to do?

A good friend told me that I just need to be consistent with my method, try to redirect and praise her when she chooses to listen to me. So that's what I am doing. My method is to call her name and tell her "No Caroline, come back over here. Or, No Caroline get down from there." When that doesn't work I go and get her, get down on her level in my deep tone and tell her "I said No" and move her to a different place and redirect her attention. When she chooses to listen to me, I praise her. (Which happened once last night)

I am not going to lie...it's real hard. There are many times a day I almost break down because this process, I feel, is breaking me. I feel like the temper tantrums are many, and the sweet moments are few and far between. But I have hope, that eventually, this will pay off.

She has to learn and I have to learn. We are in a new stage. This will happen many more times over the course of her life even after she learns the word no. I just like to live in LaLa land a lot of the times and that Lala Land looks a lot like my time with Caroline at 5:45 this morning.

She woke up and was fussing in her crib. So I went to go in there to soothe her back to sleep. I don't really rock her anymore so I thought this might be a good opportunity to do so. So I scooped her up and off to rocking we went. She laid there still as a rail, looking at me with those beautiful eyes and holding my hand. It was quiet with just the sound of the rocker. It reminded me of this past year and all the moments I got to do that very thing, just hold her.

It was in that moment I knew that we could get through this. She loves me. I love her. She is just exploring her new world and I have to be there to teach her the good things for her and the unsafe things. She won't always like my boundaries for her and she won't always like me. But she will know I do it all because I love her. I just love her.

So today I choose to believe that we can do this. This year might be hard, but in the end we will both be better for it. Also, I found a good link for disciplining a one year old...if there is anybody else in the market for some good advice on this topic. :) http://life.familyeducation.com/baby/discipline/44249.html?page=2&detoured=1

Determined to be a better mom,
Lindsey

Sleep Revisited Part 2

It's been a long time since I have updated you on C's sleep schedule and in lieu of this weeks big steps I thought I would share. I have stated before in the past 10 months of Caroline's life, the question I get asked more than any other would be..."So is she sleeping through the night?"

I DESPISE this question. Every time I would be asked it my first immediate thought would be, "Gosh Lindsey, your such a failure." I correlated Caroline's sleeping habits with my mothering skills. If I was a better mom, C would sleep through the night a) because I would have been doing the right practices at the beginning to ensure this b) I would let her cry it out or c) I am not sure what.

Either way this question always would shoot me over the edge. So to be honest, I wanted to lie and say yeah she sleeps through the night. Unfortunately that is not the case. So I tried lots of things... and to my dismay none of them really seemed to work. Until now.

Starting this past week, I have seen a glimmer of hope. 5 out of the last 6 nights my sweet C has slept through the night. And for the past week, her nap schedule has finally regulated. She sleeps two 2 hr long naps (or atleast an 1 1/2) a day. With maybe a 30 minute extra snoozer in there.

I would like to think it has something to do with the rigid schedule I am trying to keep her on. Or my vowing to stay home more so she can get her naps in or go to bed on time...but really I think it has everything to do with her. Yeah, the stuff I have been doing might help but C is almost 10 months old and I just think she is more tired at night from all the crawling, standing, cruising, playing and eating she does through out the day. I think she is plump worn out and thus sleeps longer.

I have learned enough over the past 10 months to know that nothing stays the same. In a moments instant things can change. So for now, I will take the 8 hrs of sleep a night. But to any mom out there who has lost hope that your child will ever sleep through the night, hang in there...it's coming. And for the moms out there whose sleepy child has been snoozing like a log at night since he/she was six weeks old...enjoy your nights sleep too! We all need it :) these little ones can wear us out!


A little more rested,
Lindsey

Living in a Scary World

Did any of you watch the Jaycee Dugard story on NightLine Monday night? I did....and it has been on my mind ever since. Something was so disturbing in this story that I don't know what to do with it.

There is no getting around it, we live in a scary world right now. There seems to be nothing that is off limits anymore. It all seems to be so perverse. And if you need a heavy dose of just how bad it is just watch your local night time news. There seems to be more bad news than good news anymore.

I guess I always knew it was going on, but now that I am a mom the anty has upped. Sometimes I look into the eyes of my daughter and think "How in the world am I going to protect you?" and my mind wanders to the plethera of things that lie ahead for us. Deciding on schools, friends, parties, discipline and (to my husbands refusal to think about) boys are going to quickly be our reality.

But then there are the unknowns. The outside things that I can not control.  The things I so desperately want to protect but have no way of doing. The things I litteraly have to let go of and trust God. Period. Having a child will bring out the worst fears you can possibly imagine happening. And I want nothing more than to keep her safe from harm for her entire life. But I am not promised that, and unfortuanately neither is she. So the fear really does me no good and only steals worries on tomorrow.

So when I watch a story like the Jaycee Dugard one, I am facinated by the last couple things her mom said during the interview. It has to do with a kiss. She said that one moring she was running late for work and decided to not go in and kiss her children goodbye before she left. And for 18 years while her daughter was missing, she replayed that scenario over and over again in her mind. A kiss.

That's what I can't let go of. Every opportunity I have through out the day to kiss my little girl. To hug her. To tell her how much I love her. To pray for her. To teach her about God and how much He loves her. To rock her to sleep. To comfort her when she is sad. To enjoy every time she looks at me with those eyes.

Yes we live in a scary world...and yes there are scary people in this world. But I serve a Bigger and Stronger God, and I know that no matter what comes our way I will stand taller because I have Him on my side. He gave me this little girl knowing that I was the perfect person to be her mom. I am going to do my darndest (I know that's not really a word...but I like it :)) to protect her and teach her how to be wise and to discern good and evil. Then for the rest of it I trust God. Period.

Confident in Him,
Lindsey

Craftiness at it's Best

So I have always had a love for party planning and here lately I have been throwing baby shower after baby shower. I LOVE them! I think every baby deserves a shower, I don't care if they are the 1st or 10th child.

I told you I started a play group, and it just so happens that there is a girl in our group that is expecting her second child 2 weeks from now. I decided 2 weeks ago that we should throw a impromptu shower for her and the little one, whose name is Lorelei. (PS Love that name!)

Anyways...we decided that being a few days away from 4th of July we should do a red, white and blue theme. It turned out so cute if I do say so myself. My good friend Jenn Russell and I decided on embarking on the chore of making the cupcakes and then all the other ladies brought their food choice in red white and blue.

Here are a few pictures from the event:

Red White and Blue Cupcakes with Baby Lorelei cutouts

Homemade Strawberry Lemonade

Psalms 139 for Baby Lorelei

Desert table...cupcakes and fruit pizza

Tomato and Blue Cheese Sandwiches

Homemade Salsa with Blue Corn chips

The BEST Stuffed Cornbread ever

and Red White and Blue Salad

I think all that one needs for a successful shower is inspiration. A baby is always inspiration for me...but also I get a lot of ideas from other party planners. One great one that I like is TomKat Studios... Check her out...she's awesome!

Hope you get inspired...and if you ever need a party planner hit me up :)

Lindsey

Something is Concerning Me

So in the morning, the sweetness plays in her exersaucer while I partake in a little Good Morning America and sip my coffee. It is one of the best times of the day as we are both content and happy in our own little worlds.
The other morning however, Ms. Robin Roberts was covering a story that caught me a little off guard.
If you have 6 minutes, please watch! (click on the picture)

As a mom of a little girl, and as a woman who has a life long issue with her own body image I was immediately taken aback. I am not saying that I didn't know this was happening out there, I can only remember some of the mean things said on the playground when I was a kid, but now that I am a mom my perspective is different. Not only for Caroline, but for me.

There was something that was said at the end of the clip about making sure what we say around our children encourages good self esteem, not necessarily about the children but about us. They actually asked a group of little girls what their mom's thought about themselves, and the one girls reply was "She is always saying she needs to go to the gym, because she thinks she needs to lose weight". I immediately felt bad. I am always telling my husband that I need to lose weight, that I am on a diet, that I feel ugly. (Being vulnerable here so please don't judge) I realized in that moment that I am teaching my daughter something about the way she should view herself.

If there is one thing that I am sure of in the recent weeks...is that Caroline pays attention to everything that I do. She mimics me and follows me around. Not only am I her mom, but for the next couple years I am the closest role model she will have. So what I say and do really matters. As a person who thoroughly was (working through them as we speak) engulfed in insecurity, I desperately want differently for my daughter. I want her to be secure in the beautiful person God made her to be. I want her to be secure in her talents, in her relationships and at school. I want her to be secure in herself, living a life free of insecurity!

I am not naive enough to think that she will adapt everything that I think about myself as her own issues, but I am aware to the fact I have moldable clay in my presence 24 hours a day. It's enough for me to think twice about what I say about my looks and body in front of C. This video clip has also made me realize how important it is to build your children up. There are SO many other forces in this world trying to make our children feel bad about themselves, we can at least be a sounding board of truth! So whether you have a boy, or a girl or yet to have a baby... there is always someone little watching. Show them how a confident woman looks!

Healthy and Happy,
Lindsey

Still Tired...but Gaining Some Energy

If there is anything that the summer does...it totally rejuvenates my soul! There is just something about the sunshine and pool that changes things for me. Seeing that I had Caroline at the end of the Summer (September) the first part of her life we were cooped up in the house. That was really hard for a summer girl like me. But now that we have opened our pool and the weather is nice we are out there everyday enjoying the beautiful weather and a cold pool.

That being said...don't let me fool you, I am still exhausted. This morning when I woke up my body and mind were screaming at me telling me that all they wanted to do was crawl back in bed. But as moms we don't get that luxury. So I yanked myself up, went and got the little one and quickly made myself some coffee. I got to thinking as I took my first couple sips...when was the last time I had a "good" night sleep? I would say 9 months ago before I gave birth to our sweet C, but that's not all together true either. Any woman who has been pregnant before knows that the last trimester you barely sleep. Not only are you uncomfortable but you have to get up a million times to go pee :)!

So needless to say it's been awhile and I am wondering when I will ever have a "good" night sleep again? As I think about my friends who just are now enjoying the first couple weeks of motherhood and the several times a night feedings, I feel as though Caroline and I have come along way. At least I get 5-7 hours of solid sleep :) But I still long for the day when she will sleep from 8pm-8am. Is that too much to ask? ( I can hear moms laughing all over the world!)

Either way the summer is shaping up to be wonderful for this family. I am in such a better mood now that we can get out and about a little. Caroline and I have a good routine of going to the gym so that I can work out and she can play in the kid zone, then coming home and getting in the pool! I am hoping that maybe (just maybe) I will wear her out enough that a straight through the night sleep isn't too far off in my future!

Exhausted but gaining some energy,
Lindsey

Temper Tantrums

SO...I am not sure when they started, or why, but if there was a dislike button for temper tantrums I would hit it like 50,000 times. Caorline on the other hand would hit the like button everyday about 30 times a day.

It really started becoming a little overwhelming a couple days ago. It started with little things like when I would get her in her seat for meals and she would start throwing a fit until the food got there. She hates to be changed (clothes or diaper) and now that she can roll over the minute that I lay her down she immediately rolls to her belly and I have to yank her back. (this really becomes a problem when there is poo involved). Then there is when I leave the room, when I put her down for a nap or for bedtime...and when we get in the car. Yesterday she even threw one when we were in Wal-Mart, which is something she never does.

Last night, she wouldn't go to sleep even. For a while now we have done our bath, read our story, drank our bottle and then we lay her down before she is asleep. This is has worked great and things on the sleeping end have gotten so much better. But last night, and for her nap this morning, she would not go to sleep with out me getting her there by holding her. Today it took me an hour to get her to go down for a nap and my last resort was to rock her. She just keeps standing up in her crib and screaming for me...

The only time its not an issue is when someone is holding her or for split seconds here and there. I am not sure what do and what disciplinary actions I should take. I say no (especially when she is doing something that she shouldn't) and I have swatted her hand before. Neither seems to do anything. I am asking for wisdom in what I need to do because I don't want to be one of "those" parents who doesn't do anything and then has an unruly child. But, I also don't want to be too aggressive with my methods and have them backfire on me later.

The problem is she is just too sweet most of the time and this popped up out of no where. She has 8 teeth now so I don't contribute it to teething any longer. I thought maybe it could be her knees hurting from all the crawling but I don't think that either. I read somewhere that when they learn a new motor skill things get thrown off because they are so excited...that could be it. But whatever the reason I just need to know what to do as a mom.

Can anyone help me out there... I just love this sweet face and don't know what to do?????

In need of some encouragement,
Lindsey

Just a few thoughts...

I have a lot of little things swirling around in my head today. So instead of a normal post I am just going to blurt out these things...so they GET OUT! (I have to worn you: some are weird!)

1) Last night I woke up at 2:30am. Not because the little one got up, but just because I couldn't sleep. I guess something that I watched on the news caught up with me and had me thinking for a while. There is a new missing girl around here where I live and my mind was stuck on her. I don't know her, but my heart is broken for her. I pray that they find her...I pray for her mother. As a new mom, the thought of something happening to my sweetness rattles me to the core. I can only imagine the pain her mother feels right now. I hope they find her.

2) I think that I am as plain Jane as they come. I am not very out of the ordinary, but desperately want to be. I really want to be one of those moms who makes their own food, sews and is crafty. How do you become crafty if you don't have a crafty bone in your body?... I know, find someone who is and play it off like you did all the work yourself :)

3) Where does time go? I need it to slow down. I feel like everyday C is growing in a new way. Whether it is her personality or her actions, I feel like I want to press the pause button and hold her there for just a little while longer.

4) She is about to crawl any day now. She gets on her hands and knees and is rocking back and forth. I am so afraid that my husband is going to miss this momentous occasion. So I am constantly on video duty... hoping that I will get the action shot when it happens. It makes me think of the movie "Life as we know it" with Katherine Hiegle and Josh Duhamel. Their little girl is about to walk and Katherine Hiegle is upstairs and doesn't want to miss it... as the baby starts to get going Josh Duhamel pushes the baby over so she stops walking so that Katherine won't miss the first steps. HYSTERICAL! I won't do that for Chris...but it sure is funny.

5) Sleeping is going well. She is in her own crib and is sleeping from 8pm till about 5am where she then gets a bottle and in the bed with us. I love my snuggle time so much more now, and really I miss her so much during the night.

6) We are officially done breast feeding...and I am really sad. I wish I would have done it longer now...

7) Caroline is so funny. Her personality is coming out so much more now and I love it! She is really a sweet little girl, and I am not just saying that. Her little babble is soft, cute and adorable. She smiles at everyone and her eyes light up the room.

8) She says dadada and mommamaa but she doesn't really know what she is saying. A couple weeks ago,  she was up late and didn't want to go to bed, but I was pooped. Chris was taking her to stay up with her, and as he went to take her out of my arms he asked her "Do you love her?" and pointed to me...
Caroline looked at him and said "ahuh" and smiled...both Chris and I looked at each other and started laughing!
Chris asked her again and she looked at him again and said..."ahuh" We laughed!
Chris asked her one more time, and again she said "ahuh!" AMAZING!!!

I thought this time I would do it for him, so he could feel the pleasure I was feeling with her agreeing to love him too.
So I asked her "Caroline do you love him?" and pointed to her daddy.
She just stared at him and smiled! HA!!! Can't win them all :)
 She does love her mommy!

anyways... those are just my few thoughts for today!

Amused,
Lindsey

Sleeping Update

So last week I informed you all that starting Monday I was going to try the CIO method. (Cry it out) I happened to be gone all weekend, and per my last blog entry...we all know how Sunday and Monday turned out for me (A Terrible Day)

SO needless to say, we didn't get to start the sleeping project until Tuesday. I started with nap time.

Usually I will:
Rock her until she falls asleep
Then gently lay her in her bed
Hold her steady to make sure she's good
Gently take my hands off
Tip toe out of the room
Pray she doesn't wake up :)

This time I:
Rocked her till she was drowsy
Kissed her on the head
Laid her in the crib
Walked away
Prayed she would stop crying and fall asleep :)

I think it took about 20 minutes but she did fall asleep and slept for an hour and half!
I did the same thing that evening when it was bed time. Caroline's bedtime is 8pm and we give her a bath and then feed her a bottle while rocking her to sleep. This time we did the same thing but, when we put her down she cried for a little bit before conking out.

Although that evening was a little difficult.
She woke up at 12:30....where I went in there and sat next to the crib with my arm poked through the wholes and held her hand.
Again at 3:30...where I did the same thing as above.
And at 4:30...it was storming really bad outside and the thunder kept waking her up. I asked Chris to get up and get her to go back to sleep, and a few minutes later...he waltzed in holding the little sweetness, where she proceeded to sleep with us to 7:30am. :) I wasn't too upset, I misssed the little one.

Yesterday was a great day though. Nap went well like noted above, and then we were out and about most the day. She took a good late nap and was really happy all day.
When we put her down for the evening, Chris rocked her and laid her in the crib. About 9:30 there was a stir from her in her room, but quickly was quited.
We went to bed around 9:30am. At 4 am I herd her stir again...I got up to make her a bottle thinking she might be hungry. By the time I got done doing that (about 3 min or so) it was all quiet again in her room. I went back to bed.

6 AM! That's when she woke up!!! PUMPED I AM!!!
I don't know what this means exactly, because the sleep situation has always been different from day to day. But I can tell you this, I think we might be turning a corner :)

I will keep you updated as to what happens tonight, but I am pleased thus far. And it's nice to have some quiet time with my husband!

Rested,
Lindsey

Teething, Sleeping, Bathing and other Ing's

So we have finally arrived to another stage of teething. Caroline already has her two bottom teeth which we found on Christmas morning, and is now about to cut her top two teeth. (I am sure she is going to be the cutest thing ever with her four little teeth). But teething is a long drawn out process that I am ready to be done with!

With teething comes: a small fever, little cough, less long sleep (naps and nights), runny poop and the lovely but always present drool fest 2011. I have been using Infants Tylenol when needed and Baby Oragel to help my sweetness with the pain. But this morning at 4am while she awoke in pain, all I could do was hold her and rock her hoping that my love would help to ease the uncomfortableness. Even though I hate to to loose sleep or hear her cry, there is something sweet about rocking her that early in the morning. But either way, I am ready for these teeth to make their grand entrance :)

Sleeping in our household has become a endeavor for sure. As most of you know, Caroline is co-sleeping with us. Both Chris and I don't mind her being in the bed with us, but I am realizing that I have created somewhat of an issue. I put her down in her bassinet every night in the hopes that she might stay there the rest of the evening. She is asleep when I put her down, but lately has been waking up soon after. I have let her cry it out for a little while, but I haven't gone longer than 30 minutes. It doesn't seem to help and we end up getting her out and rocking her back to sleep, and eventually she winds up back in the bed with us where she sleeps pretty soundly the rest of the night.


Although I realize that this is not ideal, I have some of the best moments of my life when I lay down with my sweet little girl in my arms and my sweet husband holding both of us. Life doesn't seem to get much better, and my heart is practically bursting with fullness. The other morning as Caroline was going down for her nap, tears poured out of my eyes with gratefulness for the precious love that I have for her and for my family. Sometimes life just is perfect!

Bathing on the other hand is fun times in the Campbell household. Caroline loves her bath time and we eat up the laughter and play time with her. It begins with the derobing process. We pull her shirt off until it is tight around her head. We then stand her up and turn her toward the mirror so that she can see herself in the mirror. (The shirt becomes a make-shift chef hat and is so cute!)

 She laughs, we laugh and all of us make babbling noises in unison. Once she gets in the bath it gets even better. She kicks, laughs, plays with her toys and takes the big cup we use to act like she is drinking from it, or proceeds to douse her self with water.

As I look at my daughter I am overcome with the masterpiece that God made in her. It reminds me often of Psalm 139.
 ¹³ For you created my inmost being;
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
   your works are wonderful,
   I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
   when I was made in the secret place,
   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
   all the days ordained for me were written in your book
   before one of them came to be.
I love that He is so much a part of my life with Caroline and Chris. And He is the maker of all ThING's! 

Anyways... just wanted to update you on what's happening our sweetness and let you in to our day to day lives.

Singing His praises,
Lindsey

Thankful

You know being a mom brings out any woman's hypochondriac symptoms...anytime Caroline sneezes I freak. (LOL) I have made mention to this a couple times but when Caroline was a couple weeks old, she spit up a lot of her food in one sitting. I hysterically cried thinking that Caroline had something seriously wrong with her, and after panicking, a very close mother friend of mine told me to pick up mylicon. I did, Caroline was fine and I calmed down. Fast forward a month or two, Caroline became very sick one night. (A throwing up child does nothing for a mom by the way.) After several calls to the doctors, a freakout session on my husband, holding the baby upright all night and a trip to the Dr.'s in the morning...they told me everything was fine.

I say all this to tell  you that I am more than ever thankful for a healthy child. This morning I had to take her to the eye doctor to check on her eyes. She has clogged tear ducts, and one eye every now and then would cross. Of course our pediatrician told us that it was probably nothing but as a first time mom, I dreaded the worse. And let me give you a bit of advice....never Google your child's symptoms. It will always tell you that your child has the worse case scenario.
Anyways...he referred us to a pediatric eye doctor and so we went this morning. I was super nervous going into it, but prayed for peace and asked for prayer before going from some very dear friends of mine. As we sat in the chair with the Dr. I just knew that everything was going to be fine. And of course it was, Caroline is nothing but a healthy little girl.

As I sat in the waiting room with all these precious little children with glasses I was overwhelmed with gratefulness for a healthy baby girl. No matter what comes our way, I know that she is exactly who God made her to be. I mean why freakout when I know that He made her. Why freakout when I know that He knows what tomorrow will hold for us. It's so easy to get overwhelmed with the "what if's" but the "what if's" don't get you anywhere.

In Caroline's room there is two prayers hanging on her wall. One from her father and one from me. Of course Chris being the calm logical one, his prayer contains Philippians 4:6-7
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

So why worry? It tells me to not worry but be thankful. Man do I need to practice this as a mother.
Lord forgive me for worrying so much about things that you already have control over. You love Caroline more than I do, (which is a lot) so I know that you will take care of her. And Lord, thank you for letting me be a mom to her. Out of all the babies in the world, you chose me to be her mom. You must have some confidence in me, and my ability to mother her. Thank you for a healthy baby girl and thank you for her sweet eyes. We love you...Amen.

Thankful,
Lindsey

Everyone Said It Would Get Easier

So many people said..."It gets easier...I promise". I thought they were lying. But as it turns out they were partly true. Don't get me wrong, being a mom is still on the list for one of the most challenging things I have ever done, but it's getting alot more fun! Which in turn makes it so much easier.

There is so much that she does now, it's like all the hard work is paying off. I mean in the past couple days, she looks at me with a "I love you as much as you love me." look. She reaches for me when I go to pick her up. She laughs when I laugh at her. She smiles at me when she knows I need it. She is so perceptive and animated that I could just sit and watch her as she discovers the world. It's the most incredible thing that I have the privilege to witness all her firsts.

The first time she felt the wind in her face.
The first time she heard the sound of rain.
The first time she tasted something she loved.
The first time she tasted something she didn't love.
and so many others...

These are all blessings for me. So to say it is getting easier just means that I am getting more of a hang at this job and she is getting to be a blast! Maybe that's what everyone meant.

Content,
Lindsey

Some of the greatest advice I have gotten

I was always the one to say "I hate it when people always try to give you advice on parenting. I don't know why people think that they have to tell you the "right" way to do something."

I hate to say it... I know why now. You see, parenting is really difficult and when you find something that works- you have to tell somebody else. Good advice can change your life, I have learned that full well. So that being said I am passing along the good advice.

Here is some of the best advice I have gotten as a mom.

1) The first week we got home from the hospital, Caroline started spitting up a lot of what she was consuming.  ( I mean a lot!) I panicked of course but by the grace of God a wonderful friend Traci was here and she told me to get some Mylicon. GENIUS! It works like a charm...and we still use it to this day for gassiness.

2) Obviously Caroline has some gassiness so the other piece of advice I got was from Chris's grandmother. She told me about a baby water bottle. (kind of like a heating pad but full of warm water) I didn't have one of these so Chris and I filled up a Ziploc bag and placed it on her belly. She loved it and it helped relieve her belly ache :) Genius!

3) Constipation stinks. Poor Caroline couldn't use the bathroom. I texted several of my trusted mom friends and came to find out the Karol syrup diluted in water (about a 1/2 tsp in a couple oz. of warm water) works like a charm. A good natural way to get out of using laxatives. Genius!

4) All things breastfeeding. Of course when you start breast feeding, things can get tricky if you have cracked or bleeding breasts. I was determined to continue so my lactation specialist told me to put neosporin on them after she got done eating and clean them good before she starts. I did this and they were cleared up within a day or two! GENIUS!

5) Caroline also had blocked tear ducks. Her eyes constantly would water and they would also get goop at night and in the mornings. We tried massaging them with warm washcloth several times during the day and also tried prescription eye drops. Nothing really seemed to work. So went on a baby site and came to find out a whole slew of moms said to drop breast milk in their eyes. I was hesitant but did, and all I can say is GENIUS! Caroline's eyes look so much better!

6) Chris told me forever, sleep when she sleeps. I wish that I listened to this advice more....but when I did man was it good advice! GENIUS!

7) When it's shot day... right after they get their shots, nurse them. It comforts them almost immediately and helps immensely! GENIUS!

8) And I think the best advice I have gotten....don't be so hard on yourself. You will mess up, and you won't know exactly what to do. But you will survive and so will the baby. GENIUS!

More confident because of all the people who shared their advice with me,
Lindsey