The Elusive Night of Sleep

So... I have told you about this before.

Sleeping with Caroline has never been good. The minute I think we have "turned the corner" I am quickly reminded it was not a corner at all but more of a bend in the road.

I. am. tired.

I say this in the nicest way possible...if your child has always been a good sleeper, cheers! But mine has not. I have tried almost everything.

She has a routine.
She naps good.
She has cried it out and it does no good nor does it find her any consistency.
She goes to sleep awake.

She is 18 months old now and to be honest, I am thinking that she just might not be a good sleeper. This almost brings me to tears. When she does wake up in the middle of the night she sometimes is awake for 2 hrs or so (wide awake I might add.) Sometimes the easiest way for any of us to get any sleep at all is to do the things we shouldn't do...like rock her or give her a bottle.

Yes I cave...but trust me at 18 months you would too.

There are glimmers of hope I have. She is cutting her 2 year molars right now, so maybe just maybe, after we are done teething (just 2 more teeth left) she will sleep better. I also am going to try a slightly different bed time "thing". I will let you know if it works.

So, this is mostly just to vent. Right now I am letting C cry herself to sleep because she is just down right cranky...and I know my day will stink if she doesn't get some sleep. But, if you are reading this and you think you might have some advice (that doesn't make me feel like a terrible mother) share with me. I beg you, share with me.

Hoping for some rest,
Lindsey

A Review in Picures-18 months

Well...it's been a while since I have done this, and well it's just about time.
C turned 18 months back a couple weeks ago and I have been picking up my camera here and there just to snap some pics. So here she is at 18 months and some of my favorite pics of the last six months.

Enjoy

 My momma thinks I am the prettiest!

 huh? What did you say mom?

 I love things that are soft <3

 Yeah!! Spring is here :)

 Sweet...

 Sweeter!

 I am just so happy!

 I love you mommy...

 I love trodding around the house in daddy's shoes!

 I love my daddy and dog (I call him bubba)

 My mom loves my curls...and I love my books

 Seriously, could she be any cuter?

Puckering up with my daddy!

Happy,

Lindsey



100th POST!

Well today is my 100th post! I just can't believe it...100 times I have shared my life with you. 100 times I have poured my innermost thoughts out not knowing how they would be received. 100 times I let you in hoping that there was someone out there who could benefit from my experiences.

So today I want to share a milestones with you and some of my favorite posts! I hope you enjoy :)

First of all... I have been accepted as a blogger on TopMommyBlogs.com  you can go there and vote for my blog (Exhausted Mom) so we can hit #1 faster than any other new blog! You can look for me under the header of "Newest Blogs" or "Stay at Homes". (There are also some other great blogs on there to learn from too.)

Second of all... here are my top 3 favorite blog post I have written.
1) A birth Story.
2) Daddy Daze
3) Speaking Encouraging Words

These to me are the funniest and sweetest.
1) I love Blueberries!
2) A Royal Wedding
3) There's a First For Everything


Anyways...here's to the first 100 and to 100 more!

Excited,

Lindsey

Day in and Day out

So we have been at this stay at home mom thing now for almost 18 months! Whew just can't believe it.

What a journey so far. I mean I can't believe that it has been that long, for sometimes it feels as though just yesterday we were coming home from the hospital with our little one. And yet it feels like I have been doing this forever. This mom thing.

Day in and day out our lives feel so routine. Like she has always been here and I have never done anything different. But this past weekend  I had a weekend get-away with my mom to visit my sister in Knoxville. A whole 2 days away from the hubby and daughter had me reflecting on my day to day scene.

People I don't get to see often ask "So how's life? What's new with you?" It's an embarrassing reply when I say "To be honest, not much. I mean really nothing new is really going on. I am at home, Caroline's good and Chris loves his job. I mean yeah, we are contemplating moving to a new house. We have switched churches and God is good. But not a whole lot new."

I don't think I could be further from the truth...but who wants to hear "Well, Caroline is constantly changing. Her moods, her likes and dislikes. She learns new things everyday...want to hear about  the new things she can say or what she understands now? With the whether changing we love to be outside. We love to go shopping together. Oh and she loves the wagon her Sudie (my mother in law) got her for Christmas. No day is ever the same with us. Some days are good, some days are not so good. But no day is like the one before."

As a mom I am realizing that my days are full! From sun rise to sun down...we are going going going. She doesn't stop (except for right now...she is napping). I am still writing, we are still learning each other. WE are really good. Life is really good. I might not have a ton to report on...but what I do is really important to us.

She is really important to me.

Oh...and by the way... the giving up facebook thing is going well. Haven't been on there in 5 days. Today I feel like I have no clue what's going on in the world...but I do feel like I have had more time to right here, spend time with C and to spend time with Him. So still plugging away.

Blessed,
Lindsey

I love blueberries!

Just a fun post today...a video of my sweet one enjoying some sweets of her own~ Blueberries!

Laughing all the time with her,

Lindsey



Daily Affirmations

I am not sure where this post will go, because I have so much on my heart. In the past couple weeks I have fallen deeper and deeper in love with the Jesus. Not for any other reason other than I desperately need Him. And time after time He has shown up...comforting me in ways I had not expected.

One way He has done that is through a daily devotional blog called "A Holy Experience".

 It is simply beautiful and it is causing me to remember to be thankful in ALL things. I need nothing more on this earth more than I need Him.

I don't know about you, but I can tend to be more negative than positive sometimes. I am choosing today to be positive.
I love being a mom.
I love being a wife.
I love my family.
I love my friends.
I believe God for BIG things.
I choose His way and His way is AWESOME!
I have plenty.
I am blessed beyond words.
Today is going to be a great day!
I am beautiful to the people that matter.
I have purpose.
I have a plan.
I am smart.
I can do anything I put my mind to do.
I am a good mom and I know what to do because God equipped me for this job.
I am patient.
I am kind.
I am lovable.
I am a daughter of the King and because of that I am an heir to righteousness.

What are yours today? Share them below.
I leave you with this little girl... I want to raise Caroline to do this!

Happy Monday (and Halloween)
Lindsey

A Birth Story

I went to the doctor that morning to get checked for my 39th week of pregnancy. I was dilated to a two and had been for several weeks. Like projected, my cervix wasn't softening. We knew this was a possibility and decided to go ahead with the c-section we had scheduled for the 16th of September. My doctor was really upbeat and made sure she told me to get some rest in the next couple days.

I left the office feeling extremely fat and really tired. But with the anxiety of the life change coming toward us at a rapid speed, the only thing I could do was shop. So off to target I went. Waddling my way through the baby aisles and picking up some last needed things for my hospital stay. I finally got a phone call from my sister informing me that she was in town and going to be at my house in ten minutes. So I waddled to my call and headed home.

My sister and I were giggling when we saw each other over the excitement. But at about 4pm I started having some cramping. (Men stop reading for a couple sentences) I went to the bathroom and saw some blood. I immediately panicked and called for my sister. She informed me that it was completely normal since I got checked by my doctor that morning. I accepted her answer since she has had two babies. But the cramping still came, and started creating its own patterns. If that's what you call every 8 minutes :).

Husband and mom got home about an hour later. The cramping became a little more intense but nothing terrible. My sister and mom told me I had nothing to worry about. I agreed since I knew that labor would be way more painful than this.

Chris and my sister went to go get dinner for us as my mom and I stayed back. The cramping was getting much closer, like 4 minutes apart. Mom started to get a little worried when at 7pm I had to get up from the table and went to the bathroom. As I hovered over with more than a pained expression, Chris walked into the room holding the phone and said "Its the hospital, they want to talk to you."

They were calling to give me the guidelines for the C section, but Chris had informed them of the cramping. I reviewed the last 3 hrs for them and they suggested I come in. Chris looked at me and said as I got off the phone "Honey are you sure? I mean if we go in, they are probably just going to send us home." I just looked at him...really? I replied back "I am not faking it honey."

So we got our stuff together and off we went to the hospital. I don't remember much about the car ride just a urgency feeling welling inside of me. Chris spent the drive calling family and close friends to update them and tell them it was probably nothing but to stay tuned.

We got to the hospital and had an obnoxious check in girl who wanted to talk to my husband about him getting her a job at Dave Ramsey. I finally interjected on their conversation in between contractions and asked if we could hurry the process up. They got us in our room and immediately the nurse wanted to check me. As we were talking in the room while and people were busing around me...the nurse exclaimed, "No wonder, you are dilated to a 6!"

What? You are kidding...a 6? Chris and I just looked at each other in amazement...we were getting our little girl tonight not tomorrow.

As the doctor buzzed in a quick 20 minutes later, we decided to go on with the C-section. Chris called our family and told them to hurry up and get there because she was coming and soon. And before we knew it I was getting rolled into the OR. Chris dressed in his gowns and me anticipating the surgery.

 15 minutes after entering the OR, after some tugging and pulling, Chris looked at me and said "This is it...here she comes!" And there she was...immediately changing everything about me.

 Caroline Leigh Campbell was born on September 15th, 2010 and 9:10pm. She weighed 7lbs and 9oz. and was 19 1/4 inches long. She was every bit of perfection I could have imagined... I have NEVER in my life felt anything like the love I instantly felt for her. Her dad and I both were immediately wrapped around her tiny little fingers.

I don't think, as I look back, that I could have imagined what this first year would be like. I don't think I realize just how fast it would go. I am so happy that I was chosen to be her mother, and could never thank God enough for this opportunity. I worry that in the coming years I won't be able to remember this year, her first, the way it runs through my mind now. I have loved every minuted of it...even the hard times, and would do it all over again just for the chance to hold her for the first time. To smell her sweet baby skin. To kiss those tiny fingers and toes. To love her with everything that I have.

Happy Birthday Caroline Leigh. You are the best thing that has ever happened to your daddy and I.

Love you,
Mommy

Discipline

I am not sure that I anticipated this stage this early. To be honest I don't think I was completely ready for it. C turns one tomorrow, but she is already acting like she is two. This is proving to be way more difficult than I anticipated.

Last night I had some girlfriends over the house. This has happened several times over the past year where they come over, they love on C and we watch our favorite show. But now they come over, love on C and then watch me over and over try to direct my child away from the fire place, the movie cases, the picture frames, biting me and Lord forbid anyof the girls food or drink. It was the first time I felt embarassed as a mom as I watched their faces while I tried to discipline Caroline. I quickly fought back the tears and scooped up C and put her to bed.

I think it is easier to discipline a child who truly understands what you are trying to do. But here lately Caroline seems to be more excited to push the limits than adhere to them. I understand that she is suppose to do that, it's part of the deal. I just have had a hard time learning how to deal with this new child. I don't like having to tell her "No" so many times a day. I have chosen not to spank her because to be honest I don't think she understands it at this age and for me it just didn't feel right. (Plus with as much as she does something she shouldn't, I would be popping her all the time.) I also can't put her in time out...so what AM I suppose to do?

A good friend told me that I just need to be consistent with my method, try to redirect and praise her when she chooses to listen to me. So that's what I am doing. My method is to call her name and tell her "No Caroline, come back over here. Or, No Caroline get down from there." When that doesn't work I go and get her, get down on her level in my deep tone and tell her "I said No" and move her to a different place and redirect her attention. When she chooses to listen to me, I praise her. (Which happened once last night)

I am not going to lie...it's real hard. There are many times a day I almost break down because this process, I feel, is breaking me. I feel like the temper tantrums are many, and the sweet moments are few and far between. But I have hope, that eventually, this will pay off.

She has to learn and I have to learn. We are in a new stage. This will happen many more times over the course of her life even after she learns the word no. I just like to live in LaLa land a lot of the times and that Lala Land looks a lot like my time with Caroline at 5:45 this morning.

She woke up and was fussing in her crib. So I went to go in there to soothe her back to sleep. I don't really rock her anymore so I thought this might be a good opportunity to do so. So I scooped her up and off to rocking we went. She laid there still as a rail, looking at me with those beautiful eyes and holding my hand. It was quiet with just the sound of the rocker. It reminded me of this past year and all the moments I got to do that very thing, just hold her.

It was in that moment I knew that we could get through this. She loves me. I love her. She is just exploring her new world and I have to be there to teach her the good things for her and the unsafe things. She won't always like my boundaries for her and she won't always like me. But she will know I do it all because I love her. I just love her.

So today I choose to believe that we can do this. This year might be hard, but in the end we will both be better for it. Also, I found a good link for disciplining a one year old...if there is anybody else in the market for some good advice on this topic. :) http://life.familyeducation.com/baby/discipline/44249.html?page=2&detoured=1

Determined to be a better mom,
Lindsey

Man Am I Glad August is Almost Over... A Bad Month in Review Part 2

OK...so I got the worst part of August out yesterday...you can check it out here if you didn't get to read it. I suggest you do so before you read this one, so you can see what my frame of mind was before you hear what happened next.

I told you that Caroline fell on August 2nd. This was a Tuesday. Fast forward seven days to August 10th...A Wednesday.

I can't tell you how excited I was when I woke up that morning. I am a avid reader and HUGE fan of the book called The Help. I don't know if you have read it, or if you even like to read, but if you haven't or you don't...this book is worth your time. It definitely ranks up there in my top 5 favorite books of all time! Either way, they created a movie about this book and it came out on August 10th. I had fandango'd my ticket and was anxiously waiting to go see it that evening at 7:10pm with two of my best girlfriends. I was giddy with excitement! (total book nerd I realize)

Either way, husband came home and we ate dinner together. I needed to leave the house around 6:40 to meet the girls by 6:45. I quickly kissed my family goodbye and headed out the door. I have to let you know that I live, maybe, 2 miles from the movie theater (not exaggerating here either). It was within those two miles where I became another statistic. Most car crashes happen within a few miles from the home.

Yes, that's right...a week after Caroline's fall... a car crash. I rear ended an old tank of a Ford Explorer. I was paying attention, just couldn't see the stand still traffic that was on the other side of a hill in front of him. By the time I could hit my brakes, it was too late. Then the air bag went off.

I don't know if this has ever happened to you, but it's awful. Like getting punched in the face. The smell is terrible, and your car fills with the smoke from the release of it. Luckily I didn't get hurt, although you could see the outline of my face from the makeup on the bag.

Anyways... the guys I hit couldn't have been nicer, and the police officer I knew. The tank of the Ford Explorer had little to no damage, but my car on the other hand was not so lucky. Hood was busted to shreds and the radiator was completely busted. Chris was right when he said, as the tow truck carried my car away, "I bet insurance will total it out." And they did.

Again, I emotionally handled the whole thing until we were taking things out of my car and we pulled out the car seat. Flooded with the fear of the previous weeks events with Caroline, I was beyond thankful she was not with me in the accident. She probably wouldn't have been hurt, but never-the-less I am glad I was alone.  Another God thing if you ask me, as that she is always with me.

Anyways, we have spent the better part of August looking for cars and dealing with idiots trying to sell them. I don't recommend trying to buy a car off craigslist, as two weeks after the accident we thought we had found "the one" (a new car) and worked a deal with the guy, when he so graciously sold the car out from under us. Taking us ever so back to square one with a week left on the rental car. Gotta love that.

Between the emotional wreckage I started the month off with, to the emotional wreck I was after my wreck...plus the emotionally unstable person I was flamed many arguments between the husband and I. To say we were stressed and took it out on each other was an understatement. My poor husband put up with a lot this past month...sorry honey. I am sure that you are glad August is over too.

Sweet Caroline got over her fall, but decided it was time to teeth her four 1 year molers. If I thought teething was bad before, I was kidding myself. This has been a month from you know where plus some. We have spent alot of money (ER visits and new cars aren't cheap), lost alot of sleep (babies who are teething don't really like to sleep) and cried several rivers (or I have cried and Caroline has cried)...but we made it through.

Now on to September... It's time to celebrate (literally, Caroline's birthday is in 15 days!)

Thanks for listening to me whine...
Lindsey

Man am I glad August is almost over...A Bad Month In Review Part 1

A friend of mine today posted on Facebook "SO, August sucked...September anyone??"...to be honest, I had to say an Amen! August has flat out been a terrible month. (And I am not even exaggerating)

I have been putting off this post for a while now because, to be honest, I just didn't want to talk about it. It has been emotionally, physically and financially draining. As my husband said this evening, it has been one expensive month. So I bet your wondering what all happened... I guess I will tell you.

On August 2nd morning, a good friend of mine dropped off her little girl for me to watch the next couple weeks. She is a teacher and needed a fill in for a couple weeks before her annual sitter could watch her. I have had lots of people ask me to keep their children, so I thought this was a good opportunity to try out my skills as a nanny and mommy at the same time.

To be honest things started off really good. Caroline was in a good mood and my friends baby is always in a good mood. We were gracefully moving through our morning, and even though the girls weren't very interested in napping, we were ready for lunch. By this time, Caroline had been walking for a couple weeks and was all over the place. After I fed her, it was time to feed the next baby. So I put Caroline down, and she proceeded to walk between me and our back doors to look at the dog. A friend of mine decided to pop in a little early to come visit me and I am so glad she was there. (she was suppose to drop by several hours later...a total God thing if you asked me)

About 5 minutes later, as my friend and I talked as I was feeding the other baby, Caroline took a very hard fall in our kitchen. She was just steps away from me and had fallen straight backwards onto our ceramic tile floor. It had to be the loudest fall I had ever heard, and immediately I was up and by her side. I quickly scooped her up expecting to hear screams coming from my child...instead I heard nothing. I mean absolutely nothing....Caroline wasn't breathing.

I anxiously patted her back and kept saying "Breathe Caroline, Breathe." As my friend came along side of me, I saw the panic in her face. After about 30 seconds, Caroline breathed. Immediately she locked out her arms and collapsed in my arms. That's when fear flooded me. I thought "this is that freak accident that you never expect to happen to you."

I turned to my friend, she is a mother of three, and gasped for help. She blankly looked at me and I grabbed my keys to leave, Caroline still limp and unconscious in my arms. She immediately said "911". So the first time I have ever called the ambulance was for my daughter. They came quickly (a shout out to the EMT's in Rutherford Co.) and about a minute or so before the got there Caroline came around. She was beyond a shade of white and not quite blue...more like a slate gray. She was cold and sweaty, and wasn't really focusing. She would raise her head ever so slightly and then gently lay it back on my shoulder. The Fire department (3 of them) the police (2 of them) and the EMT's (2 of them) all crammed into my living room and examined my sweet Caroline. The quickly affirmed that she was going to be ok, but that I still should go to the ER because she is so young and it was a head injury. I declined the ride in the ambulance assuring them that I would take her there myself.

I didn't break down until I heard my husbands voice on the phone. I couldn't breathe because the fear over took me. Yes Caroline was alright, but I was scared to death. Chris immediately came home, and he and I took the little one to the ER. By this time, she was much better and the ER doctor confirmed that Caroline had just knocked herself out. (Think of a boxing match KO). She said that we should watch her but the most likely she would have a wicked headache, and a slight concussion.

At that point, we finally let her nap. And she slept for a long while as we came back home. Everyone else seemed to go back to normal. Chris and Caroline were both fine, I on the other hand not so much. It seemed like every time I closed my eyes, all I saw was the lifeless Caroline in my arms. It wasn't her not breathing, or the sound of the fall that freaked me out the most. It was the rolling of her eyes back into her head and the feel of her limp body in my arms. I didn't sleep and the next morning I hysterically cried before Chris left for work. I didn't want to be alone and I couldn't watch my friends baby. I was traumatized.

I didn't know when I would get over it and I can't fully say that I am. I still panic when she falls (which is daily, the fun of a walker). I still panic when she acts weird. I still want to carpet our whole house. But I am better...and trust that God has her in His hands. That's all I have in the end.

That was just August 2nd,
Lindsey 

Walking and Kissing

Well...since the last time that I blogged my little girl has started walking. Hence the lack of posting on my part. Since she started, I have been doing my best to keep up with the little bug.
It has been fun to watch her waddle around though. The first time it was a lunge forward with a couple steps attached to it. Now it is very methodical and thought out. She knows how to stand up on her own with out any help and she knows how to get from one side of the room to the other. Although she walks alot now...she still depends mostly on crawling. I am not sure when that will stop but it's fun to watch her try out her new legs. I can't believe we are already to this stage...where did it all go?

Another new thing for the little one is kissing, or what we call giving sugars :0! Caroline's God Mother, Meghan, has been trying to teach her for a while now. But it hasn't been until recently that she finally has picked up on it. And she can't stop. She kisses everything! The dog, my knee and even her dad through the front glass door! I mean seriously...I can't handle this picture!

I would love to post some video of Caroline walking too, but it's like she knows what I trying to do every time I get the flip out... she won't let me get it on film! But just know...as soon as I do, I will share!
Anyways...it's fun catching up with you all, and stay tuned because I have another giveaway coming up on Friday!

Bye for now!
Lindsey

For Caroline

Could you ever possibly know how much I love you?
Would you ever know what I feel when I look at you?
Do you know that it often feels like the world stops when you place your hand on my chest as you drift off to sleep?
People always told me that I never knew love until I would have my first child, and I scuffed at this ridiculous comment. But Caroline, my sweet, it's true. My heart feels as though it has exploded over and over again with more love than I could ever have imagined. You have changed the world forever with your grand appearance in your dad's and I's eyes. Nothing has been nor ever will be the same again. You make our life so rewarding as we watch you explore and find new things. We watch you become more and more brave as you expand your abilities daily. We see glimpses of your personality and the woman you will become one day as you begin to see the world as your playground. Everyday you amaze me.
I am desperately in love with you, and there are moments that scares me to death. Because I know at some point I will fail you, and you will question that love. But if you knew what I see when I look at you, you would believe that nothing in all this world could alter that. Life will change us and we both will get older, but one thing will always remain the same,...you will always have my love.
It is wider than the widest river. It is higher than the highest mountain. It is deeper than the deepest part of the sea. And it will stretch on longer than we both will live here on this earth. Because the only reason I can love you this much is because I know an even greater love. My sweet Jesus, Our heavenly Father, loves you this same way but more. Can you imagine it...He is so wonderful, and I long for the day you whisper His sweet name.
I love you. I really do. And as you grow into a young woman... don't ever forget this, I know I won't. I thank God everyday I get to be your mother. You make me a better person because I want to be better for you. And even though it's me writing this, I know your dad feels exactly the same way.

Just thought you should know,
Mom

The Beginning of Planning C's 1st Birthday

YES... I have started planning her first birthday. We are roughly 10 weeks away and by all means there is plenty to do. I am a party planner by nature so you would have to believe that C's 1st Birthday will be nothing short of SMASHING!

So I have decided on a theme and colors...and I have most of the things I am going to need picked out. We are doing a Sweet Shoppe theme as we do have a Sweet Caroline. I also have decided that we are doing a candy buffet to go along with the theme.

So last night Chris and I were shopping online to see if we could find the best deal on some candy in bulk. As we began to look around, I started saying "I want that. I have to have some of those. These will fit perfectly with our color scheme. Oh those are too cute...we have to have some of those." I was pacing around the house cleaning as we talked, and then all of the sudden out of no where, Chris decided to play the video below...

We both started laughing as I danced around the house singing the song. Caroline (sitting in her high chair eating dinner) just smiled as she watched the craziness going on. I think it's fair to say... I might just be a little over the top!

So as I plan, I will share with you... but we are just at the beginning stages and I need to scale back already. I mean come on...she only turns 1 once! :)

The Future Miss Salt,
Lindsey

It almost brought me to tears

Tonight I had one of those moments...where it feels as though your heart is so full it might possibly just burst and there was no apparent reason for it other than the Sweetness was just being sweet.

1st of all, the evening routine is what makes my days around here. There is nothing more in this world that I love than the last two hours of the day with C. I fix her dinner (tonight she had shells and cheese with green beans, and blueberries for dessert.) and watch her enjoy food. She has begun smacking her lips when something taste good and tonight there was more smackin' going on than I could keep up with. It was too cute!

Then we go on our family walk. Since the summer has started we go every night as long as it's not raining. I love the time I get to spend with my two most favorite people in the world. Chris and I get to talk about our day and sweet C is a people watcher. I love summer nights like these.

Than we get home and it's play time before we hit the bath. Tonight though I got to have a great laugh session with Caroline, and we were both so tickled our sides were aching... although I am assuming C's did too. And then it was bath time where we played and played and played. Then as we got out I let C stand in the mirror and blow air on it to create the smoke look on the mirror. She just thought it was the funniest thing ever!

Then it was snuggle time with two of our favorite books, Runaway Bunny and My Friends. Caroline holds her bottle with one hand and touches each picture with the other. So sweet. And after I finish the books, I turned out the lights, C turned into me as the rocker began rocking both of us into a state of peacefulness. Her to a land of dreams and me staring at the beautiful child God so graciously gave. I have memorized everything about her you know...but every time I look at her while she sleeps it's as if I am seeing her for the first time again. I am mesmerized by her and desperately in love with her.

I laid sweet C in her crib, gently closed the door and walked into the living room. Shrek 3 was on, (which i have never seen) and obviously was at the end of the movie. Just as I sat down to change the channel, Shrek said these words... " You know what the best part of today was Fiona... I got to fall in love with you all over again."

This was just how I felt as I rocked my sweetness to sleep. Tears began to creep up into my eyes as I know the day will come she won't want me to rock her to sleep anymore. But for right now and every night until that day... I will fall in love with her again and again and enjoy the sweet moments I get to have with her.

Perfect evening,
Lindsey

Get To The Point!

So everyday I think Caroline does something new. From deciding to crawl a couple weeks ago, to clapping and waving to everyone who walks by, blowing on her food before she eats it, to saying baby... her tricks have been endless and quick lived. I was so excited when people would come over and I could "show off" her new found ability, but only for a few days because she would get tired of them quicker than she learned them.
BUT.... this new one I think tops the cake! And it doesn't seem to have the life span the others did and is lasting much longer. The first couple times she did it I would just laugh. I thought it was so cute and wondered where exactly she learned it. Then one day as Caroline was trying to climb into the fire place I yelled out her name and said "Caroline...NO!" as I pointed my index finger at her. She simply turned around, gave me a huge grin...and POINTED back at me! I have never laughed so hard! I finally knew where she had got it <3
Well now, she points at anything and sometimes will double point at you. When she comes walking into the the kitchen in her walker it's a big grin and a double point. When she is playing with her toys its a single point and a low stern voice. When she waves at you, its a brief wave followed by a "I am watching you" point. When she's eating, it's like "put some more food on my plate I am hungry" point!
You can't get the full grasp of the sweetness of this until you see it up close and personal. So the other night as we went to my father's to celebrate Father's Day they finally got to see Sweet C's new trick. I had told them I had tried desperately to get some pics of her pointing, but was always a second too late. Well my step-mom (being the photo-snapper she is) managed to get two great pics of her pointing and I hope you get a kick out of them. You even get the rare double point here too!

My gosh... I love this little girl!

Lindsey

Temper Tantrums

SO...I am not sure when they started, or why, but if there was a dislike button for temper tantrums I would hit it like 50,000 times. Caorline on the other hand would hit the like button everyday about 30 times a day.

It really started becoming a little overwhelming a couple days ago. It started with little things like when I would get her in her seat for meals and she would start throwing a fit until the food got there. She hates to be changed (clothes or diaper) and now that she can roll over the minute that I lay her down she immediately rolls to her belly and I have to yank her back. (this really becomes a problem when there is poo involved). Then there is when I leave the room, when I put her down for a nap or for bedtime...and when we get in the car. Yesterday she even threw one when we were in Wal-Mart, which is something she never does.

Last night, she wouldn't go to sleep even. For a while now we have done our bath, read our story, drank our bottle and then we lay her down before she is asleep. This is has worked great and things on the sleeping end have gotten so much better. But last night, and for her nap this morning, she would not go to sleep with out me getting her there by holding her. Today it took me an hour to get her to go down for a nap and my last resort was to rock her. She just keeps standing up in her crib and screaming for me...

The only time its not an issue is when someone is holding her or for split seconds here and there. I am not sure what do and what disciplinary actions I should take. I say no (especially when she is doing something that she shouldn't) and I have swatted her hand before. Neither seems to do anything. I am asking for wisdom in what I need to do because I don't want to be one of "those" parents who doesn't do anything and then has an unruly child. But, I also don't want to be too aggressive with my methods and have them backfire on me later.

The problem is she is just too sweet most of the time and this popped up out of no where. She has 8 teeth now so I don't contribute it to teething any longer. I thought maybe it could be her knees hurting from all the crawling but I don't think that either. I read somewhere that when they learn a new motor skill things get thrown off because they are so excited...that could be it. But whatever the reason I just need to know what to do as a mom.

Can anyone help me out there... I just love this sweet face and don't know what to do?????

In need of some encouragement,
Lindsey

Nothing is safe anymore

So  Miss C decided last week that she was ready to crawl. I wasn't quite sure if she was going to honestly. She didn't seem much interested in it, she seemed much more interested in standing on her own. So I thought she might just skip crawling all together and go straight to walking. But in a quick day and half turn around she changed her mind and since then it has been no stopping this wild woman!

Since she started crawling though I have realized how un-baby safe my home is now. I have bookshelves to start off in the living room. EVERYTHING on the bottom two shelves has to be removed. Any thing that is plugged in ANYWHERE is looking much like candy to my new crawler. If there is anything on the floor it goes in the mouth, so I have to vaccum three times a day! Every cabinet in my kitchen HAS to be locked. And finally... there is no more taking naps with mommy in her bed (we found that out the hard way). I mean NOTHING is safe anymore.

It kind of is bitter sweet to be in this new season. I mean, to watch her little self crawl all over the place is the cutest thing ever, but at the same time I feel like its too early to be baby proofing my home. It goes by so fast and I know I have said that more than once on this blog. But I was reminded even more of that this morning as I was able to see a new little life come into this world. A very good friend of mine gave birth to a 7lb 4oz little boy almost exactly nine months after me. We laugh because she got pregnant the weekend I gave birth.

So as I am baby proofing she is baby adjusting. I feel like I was just there and yet I am already here. Nothing in this life is safe anymore... it moves to fast. I feel like I just need to hold on to my hat and pray that I remember each moment as it is.  And right now I will enjoy baby proofing my home and laugh as I watch my sweetness discover the world.

Here she is trying to crawl for the first time last weekend.

Enjoy,
Lindsey

It's so hard to say goodbye

So I told you last week that we just got back from New York City :). Chris and I are sharing 5 years of marriage this year and decided that it was a BIG vacation year 5 years ago. Of course we weren't exactly thinking that we would have kids on this big anniversary year, and decided a long time ago that we would renew our vows on our 5 year  in Mexico where we honeymooned!

Well, needless to say after sweet C came along we turned our 5 year week long, all inclusive vacation into two long weekends one in May and one in October since I couldn't bare the thought of being gone from her for a full week. The first one in May we opted for a trip that we have longed to do, New York City. It just so happened that the Yankees were playing the Boston Red Sox that weekend and Chris loves the Yankees so it was a done deal!

As the trip quickly approached (and I changed my mind about going several dozen times) I planned for my goodbye to Caroline for the first time ever. It was hard enough that we had to get our will together in case anything happened to us while we were gone, and you can only imagine the thoughts that began to run through this first time mom's head. "What if...." "What if..." "What IF!" It finally came to a head the night before we left after I put Caroline to bed that I knelt beside my bed as I began to cry and plead with God to not only take care of us, but to take care of her. I couldn't imagine the What ifs.

But that evening I felt peaceful as I went to bed. I mean why wouldn't he take care of us. He loves us. All of us. But as Thursday morning arrived I held her close just smelling her sweet skin and holding her tiny little hand. The throat closing was already beginning to take place.

We drove to my friends house who was keeping C for the first night, a quiet drive it was. When we finally got there Chris began to unload the hundreds of things I packed for Caroline while we were gone. It looked as if she was going to be moving in.  Me and Caroline walked into the house. My PRECIOUS friend was too sweet as she kindly placated me while I went through my printout of schedule and prepared food list (that I had made and frozen for her so she would still have some home cooking while I was gone) as if she doesn't have 4 children of her own.

Then it was time. I wasn't prepared for it as I thought I was. I was trying to so hard to be strong...but after Chris prayed over her and I handed her off, the throat closing just couldn't hold off any longer. I solemnly got in the car, put my sunglasses on and let the tears go. And go. And go. And go...well you get the idea. About 15 minutes later Chris finally glanced at me and asked "You going to be ok?"

Well, I don't know if I will ever be Ok without her. She is part of me and with her not with me it's as if a part of me is missing (cliche I know). But I will be fine. And once we arrived at the airport and I got through the first flight to Chicago, I was much better. And once I saw the Sky line of New York I was doing great.

The fact of the matter is that WE needed this. Yes I mean Chris and I needed it, but also Caroline and I needed it. It's good for us to be fine without the other one right next to each other. It was healthy for us to do this for our relationship.

I am going to blog about our trip this coming week...so for now I will jump to the coming home part.

It sure was hard to say goodbye, but it was beautiful to reunite! I felt like it was Christmas morning as we pulled into the driveway to pick up the sweetness. It just so happened that she was standing in the window, nose pressed to the glass, looking at the bunnies in the yard. I about jumped out of the car and stood nose to nose with her at the window. The smile that exuded from her face was nothing but the pure joy that I was feeling as well. I was home. I busted through the door calling her name and then before I knew it she was wrapped in my arms and together we were again. And together we have been since then.

She adapted great, and from what I understand from my parents she was a pure angel while we gone. I mean what was I expecting. So all to those moms out there who are considering or not considering vaca'ing without your little one...it wasn't so bad. We made it and our better for it. Now I am really looking forward to our trip in October.

Reunited and it feels so good,
Lindsey

Imagine the End...18 years from now

Chris and I were asked to answer this question for Caroline's baby dedication ceremony. At first when I initially read it, I was kind of taken aback. The end... we just started. What do you mean the end?

Anyways, it was part of the homework and so we had to do it. So one night after we put the sweetness to bed, Chris and I sat and jotted down what we hope Caroline becomes by the time she is 18. We shared it at the dedication with our family and I would like to share it with you.

This is what we wrote.

Caroline, as your parents and because we love you...we hope and pray you grow up to be:

A Godly woman whose heart & soul belongs to God. We pray you live your life for Him and for His glory.

That you would love others well and treat everyone with respect. Always distributing grace and compassion.

That you would be an advocate of truth and morals.

That you would be a leader among your peers. That you would be a strong independent young adult, always giving your best in all you do.

That you would be a hardworker. Giving all that you have to everything that you do as if you were doing it for the Lord.

Follow the passion God has specefically given to you. Follow the dreams He has put in your heart.

That you would be a kind joyful person who sees life as an adventure, taking each day head on with ambition and enthusiasim.

We pray for strong confidence and security in the person God made you to be.

We pray that you would be wise in your descisions and humble in your actions.

Caroline, we hope you know that whether you succeed or fail, we will always be here for you to love, support and encourage. You will always have a home here with us. And we promise to make sure that this home will be a safe place for you to come home to. We promise you will have two parents who love eachother very much, love God more and love the first out of you.



Anyways...that is what we shared. That is how we feel. That is what I hope for my sweetness. But until then...I will live in the beginning and pray it takes along time for 18 to get here.

Sincerely,
Lindsey

Catch UP!

So It has been a while... I mean a long time! I have missed writing... but life has been incredibly busy! We just got back from New York City, and I will write about that tomorrow...

But today I wanted to catch you up to date on how Mother's Day went, my first one ever. It truly is one of those things you think about every year when the holiday comes around, one day I will be a mother. So as this one approached I was so excited about what was coming. I am a mother...this is not only about my mother...it's about me :) and any holiday where you get to celebrate you is always fun. Anyways something also fun about this day is that our church scheduled the baby dedication on this day. So, it wasn't only about me anymore but also about Caroline.

So we eagerly anticipated the day, looking forward to our family just being together. We planned for all of or family to come to Caroline's dedication which made sending out our Mother's day wishes that much easier. And luckily it was a beautiful day.  When I woke up that morning Caroline was still asleep as I heard my husband scurrying around. I smelt the coffee and I emerged from the bed. I came into the living room and cuddled up on the couch as Chris made his way around the corner with my first ever Mother's Day gift in tow. I was so excited... He got me a sweet card that told me all about how proud of me he was and what a great mother I am to our daughter. It was too much and almost got a huge hysterical crying session. But quickly the gifts came and he got me the pair of Sperry's that I wanted and a very much needed massage. Which I can't wait to use:)
After that, our little sweet Caroline woke up and of course was in the best mood. We played around for a little bit and then got ready for church. Which our pastor was awesome! We got some Starbucks picked up some barbecue and came home to meet my mom and her husband for lunch. Once they got here, we ate and then headed out for a beautiful walk on the Greenway. The day was going perfect!
As we came home... Chris's grandparents were waiting for us in the drive way. Everyone then proceeded to get ready for the dedication while Caroline entertained the rest of our guests :)
I am not going to even tell you how cute she was...you can see for yourself.

She was wearing a outfit that her Sweet Mommy (Chris's grandmother) got for her...and the bonnet just about did me in! She was so sweet and was a pure angel during the ceremony. I am not going to lie, the ceremony was a little stressful but anytime you have that much family around, you have to be expecting it. But it was beautiful and memorable to say the least.  Stay tuned for what Chris and I put together for this event at a later post this week.

Anyways...after a quick dinner we came home and put the little one to bed. Chris and I got to spend some time just laughing and talking for a while before we both crashed into bed. I have to say for my first mother's day it was pretty fantastic, definitely memorable and what I have always wanted. Just to be with my husband and daughter.

Anyways...that's for catching up. It will be a week full of posts so keep up. And here is some more pics from the day :) Just click on the photo below! Enjoy!!!

Happy,
Lindsey

dedication